Month: October 2020

Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Carlton Elizabeth

Ali B

It’s that time again! Let’s dive in to the self-proclaimed witch from season four. Yes, Carlton Elizabeth only lasted one season with the women and was the wackiest one to grace our screens.

In addition to her one season stint on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Carlton was a model and actress in the 90’s and also made a cameo on Lady Gaga’s ‘G.U.Y.’ music video in 2014. She was married to producer David Gebba. On their time on RHOBH, they seemed very in love. Her witchy ways were no match for him, even though she wore a pentagram around her neck, there was not bad blood in between the two, until 2018 when they split.

Even pentagram-less, she is still intimidating

If I’m being honest, after the first or second episode I watched with her, I fast forwarded through all of her parts. She was not someone who seemed to bring anything that great to the show. She’s some sort of witch? Okay…. so is every other woman who does drugs and makes candles on this earth. Being a witch is not a personality trait, but I don’t need to be stricken-down by her powers so I’m just going to leave the rest of my comments to myself.

Scrolling through her instagram, she is still obsessed with her children, Mysteri, Destiny, and Cross, and she’s still living her best witch life. Her posts consist of her supporting the BLM movement, LGBTQAI+ community and her recent travels to various tropical places.

She was never my favorite, but she sure did make her mark on the RHOBH viewers. Let’s throw up our chalices filled with red wine and toast to Carlton. Creepy, yet consistent. Here’s to you, Carlton.

Recaps

WATNW – Kelly Bensimon

Ali B

Ah yes, it’s that time of the week again. This week, we are highlighting a not only a housewife, but a model, a mother, and an overuser of the word “creepy”. Kelly Bensimon bulldozed her way through seasons two through four of Real Housewives of New York.

Kelly’s time as a housewife was as short as her temper, but she has made a lasting impression on all fans of the show. If she wasn’t taunting Ms. Skinny Girl Cocktails herself, she was eating gummy worms and drinking vodka while blaming others for her feelings. In my honest opinion, Kelly ranks as one of the worst housewives, she’s right at the bottom with Carlton. I think one of the reasons why I didn’t like her was because she would constantly put people down for their public or private lives they were living. One of the biggest turn offs for me was when she said to Bethenny, “You are not a chef. You are a cook. It’s creepy”. For a woman who wants to be a role model to her two daughters, she sure does a lot of tearing other women down, instead of building them up.

Scary Island

As I looked to Instagram to see what Ms. Bensimon has been up to, it seems that she is minding her own business. When she’s not selling her jewelry line, she’s taking her dog for walks around town. She seems to be a firm believer in mask wearing (HALLELUJAH) and looks like she is enjoying life with her daughters by her side. All signs point to her staying in her own lane, something she should have done in 2009.

With the good, the bad, and the ugly, let’s grab our sour gummy worms and raise one for Kelly Bensimon. Someone we will never forget, but damn are we glad she’s gone!

Recaps

Turtle Time and The Last Leg

Ali B

Before I recap one of the most iconic episodes of Real Housewives of New York, it is very important that I talk about turtle time. The term coined by one Ramona Singer, she explains that turtle time is about breaking out a bottle (or eight) of Pinot Grigio and kicking back with your girlfriends under the comfort of your own roof and just have a blast. Romona takes turtle time so seriously, her tagline for season 5 is “Get the Pinot ready, because it’s turtle time”. It rolls right off the tongue, I’m guilty of saying the phrase way too much.

Let me jump into a recap of debatably the most iconic episode in Real Housewives history. There were two major things that happened in this episode: Sonja realizing what she’s worth and the leg incident. Season 6, Episode 20 of RHONY starts out with Sonja being distraught after being left by her boyfriend (almost fiancé). A newly single Countess and a tipsy New York businessman do not make for a good combo, especially when that certain tipsy NY businessman has an amazing, confident girlfriend that he “wanted” to commit to. All in all, Sonja proves to be nothing but resilient when she sits Harry down and lets him know that he was totally in the wrong and that he has lost her forever.

Now that we’ve got Sonja out of the way, let’s get to the real nitty gritty: the leg event. Season 6 was filled with attacks on Aviva, I’m not going to sit here and say if they were deserved or not, but the final straw was for Aviva was the ladies talking about if her asthma was real or not. Hmmm…. sounds a lot like Yolanda Hadid and the “m” word if you ask me, which Queen Carole brought up at the party. Anyway, Aviva being upset arrives to the Team Sonja party. Remarkably, she left Ried at home and showed up looking a little less than healthy.

And now for the main event: The Last Leg. With the women whispering and walking on eggshells around Aviva. With the white wine flowing, nothing was held back. Aviva makes her way over to the women and they immediately say how sick she looks. They are dancing around saying the word “Munchausen”, after slandering Aviva’s character and life choices, is when it starts to bubble over.

Attacks on Aviva from all the women were made and they waste no time making sure that they think she is a phony. Aviva cannot take it anymore and lets them know: “The only thing fake about me is THIS!!” and then the leg comes off. A prestigious, New York socialite chooses to slam her prosthetic leg on the table in hopes to prove what? That she isn’t being fake to all of her friends?

That truly was a statement made by Ms. Dresher, she has proven her point all while looking like a complete lunatic. All in all, the women made it through yet another season. We have to give it up for them. Let’s raise our glasses of Grigio to these seven women who are nothing less than entertaining. Here’s to turtle time!

Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Camille Grammer

Ali B

Famously married to actor Kelsey Grammar, Camille (Meyer) definitely made her mark on her time as a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. Although she pops in and out randomly throughout newer seasons, Camille was only on RHOBH for two seasons, which I could have sworn she was on more, I guess the Bravo checks weren’t big enough, so she decided to settle for cameos.

Dinner Party from Hell, Season 1

Something we cannot forget about this Bravolebrity is her famously slandering Faye Resnick for her past photoshoots. That single dinner party set the entire vibe of Camille on Real Housewives. She may have big, innocent doe eyes, but the words that come out of Camille’s mouth are anything but the slightest bit of nice.

Since she’s been off the show officially, Camille has been keeping a low profile. She has been on Watch What Happens Live! a handful of times and according to her Instagram, is still traveling, giving her well wishes to her fans, and quarinting in her beach-front Malibu home. Ever since she’s been a housewife, I have always wondered: What does Camille actually do for a living? To me, it just seems like she’s married? In my deep dive of her past, apparently she has been a dancer, performer, screenwriter, and actor, but to me, she just seems like a Beverly Hills socialite.

Although Camille is not big on drinking, we still have to toast to her. So let’s cheers our whatever-filled glasses to Camille Meyer, a never forgotten addition to the first two seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was a pleasure to get to know her, but boy am I glad we don’t have to deal with her anymore.

Recaps

Don’t Be Tardy Season 8 Premiere

Ali B

Our televisions have been graced once again with the presence of Kim Zolciak Biermann and her large amount of children. The season 8 premiere of Don’t Be Tardy came in not one, but TWO installments! Tracy kept everyone on their feet, Kim is still a control freak, and Kroy is just along for the ride.

The first episode of the premiere starts off with a run down of what the family has been up to. Brielle moved back home after staying in her downtown Atlanta apartment only 12 times, Ariana is off to college after this summer, and “The Littles” are still running around like nothing matters. We quickly find out that the Biermann bunch is off on a five-week road trip in only one RV. Kim, being her controlling self, has to make sure that each person has 40 outfits. That’s one outfit a day for 40 days for nine people. In her quest to make sure the 360 outfits make it on board (along with nine wigs, 40 bottles of wine and other excessive amounts of alcohol), the family had to rent a small semi truck in order to make sure everyone had all of their belongings. Oh! And can we talk about how Kroy made Kim her own custom wig stand in order for all of her wigs to make it on the RV? That’s the kind of love I’m looking for. After the sage cleansing of the vehicle, they are finally ready to hit the road in their quest to see the landmarks of the United States of America.

The Zolciak-Biermann family is BACK for a new season of Don’t Be Tardy… https://www.instagram.com/p/CD1u8VKB4cl/ CR: Bravo/Instagram

In the second episode of the season premiere, the bunch is in Nashville, finding goodies and stressing out about the next leg of the RV ride. In this episode we find out that Chef Bloom has a CHILD???? Honey, I thought it was a joke! When Kim said Tracy had a kid, I thought it was going to be a dog or something, not a full-blown human baby!! When did this happen, why didn’t I know about it, and who is Kannon’s other mom?

Another thing we got to see in episode two was just how serious Kim’s gambling addiction is. She made Kroy stop at a casino on their way out of Nashville, where Kroy gave her a subtle 15 minutes to get her aggression out on the slots. “Mom gambles a lot” was a phrase the littles said in their interviews. With the 15 minute time crunch, Kim went over by seven minutes and spent $400.

Lift your red solo cup to honor Kim’s sanity on this five-week adventure. One RV, eight people and only 40 bottles of wine? Good luck, Kim!

Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Kim Zolciak-Biermann

Ali B

With the new season of Don’t Be Tardy airing last night, of course I have to check in on Ms. Kim ZB for the first installment of “Where Are They Now Wednesday”! Kim Zolciak Biermann went from Real Housewife of Atlanta cast member to the star of her own reality show back in 2012, and personally, I am so happy that happend. She’s beauty, she’s grace and her wig is always in place.

We have got to applaud Kim for being one of the original Real Housewives of Atlanta, where she stuck with the group for five season, later appearing in seasons nine and ten. Iconic moments of hers include: the infamous “Big Poppa”, the multiple hit singles that are still bops today, and her red solo cups.

Now, to be KIM-pletely honest, I love her way more now on Don’t Be Tardy than I ever did on RHOA. The drama of having an excessive amount of children, a hubby that still has yet to be signed to an NFL team, and a lesbian chef is the type of drama I never want in my life. If she’s not stressing about the twins starting their first day of school, she’s stressing about 23-year-old Brielle who half lives in a downtown ATL apartment and half lives at home. I think the only sane member of the Biermann family the dog (but, like, the one who didn’t bite their toddler son).

Kim seems to be thriving. If she’s not promoting teeth-whitening kits on her Snapchat and Instagram, she is busy commenting on her children’s social media posts and posting pictures of her and Kroy giving serious PDA on all of her social medias.

Let’s raise our chardonnay-filled solo cups to this week’s former housewife. All the best to Kim, Kroy and their plethora of children. Mazel!

Recaps

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed

Ali B

Oh yes, it’s that sweet time of year when we get a “Secrets Revealed” episode, or as Kyle Richards calls it, “The Sh*t You Thought You Got Away With”. Dorit and her Gucci ice cubes, Garcelle wraps up her first season, Denise gets tongue tied and Erika bonds with her new friend, Sutton, over being southern.
First things first: we have to applaud Garcelle for successfully finishing the season with these crazy white women. Personally, I think Garcelle is an amazing addition to the show. She seems to simmer down the other women in the times things get a little heated and I live for it.
Of course, I cannot talk about RHOBH: Secrets Revealed without mentioning Bravo, Bravo, F*cking Bravo. As explained by Kyle, the saying “Bravo, Bravo, Bravo” was a lighthearted way the women would tell the network they were still touching up hair and makeup between replacing camera batteries. Apparently, Ms. Richards didn’t get the memo. How could she think that the network would just cut out an entire dinner table fight because of one saying? Unfortunately, Bravo had other plans for Denise and aired it anyway. And poor Lois in the background of the fight. Lois is too much of a goddess to sit with these women and hear them fight over Dorit’s glam agenda.
The last thing I have to bring up is: Sutton is fun? As we saw in Secrets Revealed, Sutton turned 48, but it seemed like her liver just turned 21. In all honesty, I am not a huge fan of hers, but she did make the show a little extra fun to watch with her little southern way of living. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of her in Season 11.
So let’s raise a glass of Reposado to honor Denise in her quest to fix her very public downfall and to Garcelle for completing her first season as an official housewife of Beverly Hills!