Author: Ali B

Recaps

Checking in with the Biermann’s

Ali B

As they set out on their 5-week long road trip to Vegas, I had to check up on the latest episodes of Don’t Be Tardy. The last time I wrote about the millions of kids Kim and Kroy have was the season 8 premiere of the show. Lots has happened since then. Kim sees her aunt in St. Louis, they visit a dude ranch, many bottle of wine have been consumed and the RV they are taking seems to be less than efficient.

While on their stop in St. Louis, Kim checks in with her favorite aunt to have dinner with her and her wife. While at the dinner, over bread and wine, Kim’s aunt breaks some serious news to her: her father has cancer. Now, as we all know, Kim and her parents are far from close. It has been over a decade since they’ve seen one another. Although there is bad blood, at the end of the day that is still her dad and cancer is such a sad thing for people to go through. Kim has a break down with Ariana and Brielle by her side and she comes to terms with this new found information.

Ah yes, now comes the dude ranch. “A ranch, that has a lot of dudes on it” would be the direct quote from Ms. Ariana Biermann herself. As they pull the RV onto said “dude ranch” the girls are greeted with the fact that this is a real ranch, with cattle and horses. Ariana and Brielle pulled up looking for boyfriends, the littles pulled up excited to pet horses.

Watch Dont Be Tardy Videos | Bravo TV Official Site

Lastly, we have to talk about the RV that is in possession of the family. $2 million spent and the air conditioning goes out in Arizona of all places? OH HONEY NOOOO! Kim’s face and wig were for real about to melt off. Luckily for her, she married not only an NFL star, but also a pretty knowledgeable repair man. Kroy heads to the nearest Home Depot to grab an air conditioner and finally! Rejoice! Kim can have her wigs again!

This season has been anything but calm. I don’t think I have to be the one to tell you that having an RV full of your family of 10 is probably not the best idea. Sanity is at risk for sure.

Let’s throw up our Grey Goose filled solo cups and pour one out for Kim and Kroy, we know they need it. Cheers!

Don't Be Tardy Recap: Cheers To Moving Forward! - Reality Tea
Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Adrienne Maloof

Ali B

One of my favorite housewives from Beverly Hills has to be Adrienne Maloof. I will never forget her opening scene in the first season. She was congratulated by President Barack Obama (king!!!!) for doing some type of charity work and she was so proud of herself. On the other hand, her husband said he didn’t want her to hang it in their house because he was a republican. Cut to her interview she flat out said she was a democrat and didn’t care what her rich friends thought of her. Ever since then, she’s been an icon in my eyes, and it doesn’t hurt that her and her family own The Palms in Vegas.

Adrienne has had some very legendary moments on her time on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The one time Lisa Vanderpump tried to teach her to cook and she full on washed a raw chicken with soap and water. That is a scene that lives rent-free in my head. Or her amazing Maloof Hoof.

Adrienne Maloof Has Long Been Washing Her Food with Soap | Style & Living

Since her time on RHOBH, she has started her successful Drinkade company, a drink committed to warding off hangovers. Checking in on her instagram, she has been very active. Supporting President-elect Joe Biden, thanking frontline workers in the pandemic, advocating for mask-wearing, and posting throwbacks of her time on the show. She has definitely been a favorite of mine since her first line on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Let’s raise our crystal glasses of Prosecco to Ms. Maloof. Possibly one of the most down-to-earth housewives to ever be on television. Cheers!

Recaps

Top Three Dramatic Dinners

Ali B

If the Housewives can guarantee us anything, it’s that they bring the drama, especially over a nice sit-down dinner with a private chef and catering staff. Here are my three favorite dinners that were less than calm.

#3: Crazy Kelly at Scary Island

It’s no secret that Kelly Bensimon is one of my least favorite people in Real Housewives terms. Her drunken (and probably drug-induced) state resulted in a major match between her and our dearly beloved Bethenny Frankel on the girls’ trip to St. John. Kelly accused Bethenny of trying to kill her in her sleep. I’m sorry but if I thought someone was going to try to kill me, I wouldn’t be going on trip after trip with them. This was the time that Kelly also told Bethenny that she was “nothing but a cook”. Which we all know is far from true. Although today it seems that Kelly has her head on straight, that dinner really showed the world what kind of person Kelly Bensimon is: creepy, drunk, and mentally ill.

scary island gifs | WiffleGif

#2: Crystal Meth and the Psychic

Now we move to the infamous “Dinner from Hell”. Ms. Camille Grammar decided it was a wonderful idea to not only invite a foul-mouthed Brandi Glanville to her dinner, but also a Craigslist psychic who told Kyle her husband will “never emotionally fulfill her”. Before the psychic and her e-cigarette got their 15 minutes, Ms. Glanville said some of the most famous words ever to come out of any Real Housewives franchise. “At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch!”. In Brandi’s defense, Kim did take multiple trips to the bathroom that night. Do I think it was crystal meth? No. Do I think she had a gram of blow up her nose? Of course! These are the Real Housewives we’re talking about. They are some of the most drugged up people in this world.

Kim richards rhobh brandi glanville GIF on GIFER - by Jugal
TBT: The Dinner Party From Hell | Friendly Dish

#1: Teresa’s Table Flip

Drum roll please………… of course I HAVE to mention the iconic table flip. In all honesty, I have nothing to say about this except for: if you know, you know. “Cop Without a Badge” and “Prostitution Whore” are the only things I have to say.

Andy Cohen Reveals How Teresa Giudice Handles Cheating Allegations on Season 10 of RHONJ - The Real Housewives | News. Dirt. Gossip.
Recaps

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City – Premiere

Ali B

Okay, I have to admit, hearing that there was going to be a Bravo show based in Salt Lake City did NOT intrigue me. I mean, how fun can Mormons actually be? A Real Housewives franchise with NO alcohol? Yeah, I’ll pass on that one. That being said I have to admit, I was absolutely floored when I actually enjoyed watching RHOSLC. The women were fabulous and most definitely do not hold up as “true” Mormon women.

First, we met Jen who is a coach’s wife. Jen’s husband and sons are black, which is something the Mormon church does not accept (a rather disgusting view on behalf of the Mormons if you ask me). After being a Mormon her whole life, she converted to Islam to be able to be a part of her husband’s life.

RHOSLC' Star Jen Shah: Instagram, Job, Husband & Everything To Know

Next we met Heather, who truly believes in Mormonism, although she still drinks. In one of her interviews, she even said that “Mormons can attain perfection”, so she built a $20 million cosmetic procedure company. She was married into a family of extreme wealth, and when her and her husband divorced, she was still able to keep her business and let me tell you, it has flourished.

Heather Gay From 'RHOSLC': Instagram, Job & Everything To Know

The next housewife that popped up in the show was Meredith, who only lives in Utah part time, so I’m not too sure why she’s a RHOSLC but I guess beggars cannot be choosers. Meredith fully disclosed that she is jewish and mainly lives in Chicago with her husband and son. She runs a jewelry design business and owns a clothing store as well.

RHOSLC' Star Meredith Marks: Instagram, Job, Husband & Everything To Know

After Meredith, we met Lisa, the owner of a luxury marketing brand from New York. She told us that she was “a jew by heritage, mormon by choice”. Despite converting to mormonism, her and her husband own many tequila brands and are dabbling in the world of vodka.

Lisa Barlow claims she started Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Someone we didn’t get to see too much of was Whitney. All we really know from the first episode is that she renewed her vows with her husband and is totally not a Mormon anymore.

Whitney Rose From 'RHOSLC': Instagram, Job, Husband & Everything To Know

….and lastly we have my QUEEN, Mary. Mary is fabulous, she has no filter, she dresses to the 9’s, she married her step-grandfather. Yes, you read that right, she MARRIED her STEP-GRANDFATHER. She seems happy, but still, it’s a little on the weird side. Apparently, it was her grandmother’s “dying wish” that they get married… sounds like a branch that needs to fall off the family tree if you ask me.

RHOSLC: Mary Cosby Defends Marrying Her Grandfather As The 'Right' Thing

And there we have it! The not-so-Mormon Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Let’s raise a glass to them, because from what I saw last night, it’s going to be a drama storm!

Recaps

Five of the Best Real Housewives Halloween Costumes

Ali B

I am not one for Halloween, dressing up was never really my thing, even as a child. However, when you are rich, that opens all new doors for costume designing. I have compiled a list of five of my favorite costumes worn by Real Housewives.

#5: Romana Singer as Britney Spears

Watch See Even More From Bethenny and Ramona's Halloween Argument | The Real Housewives of New York City Season 10 - Episode 1 Video

Halloween 2017 Romona showed she was not that innocent when she dressed up in the iconic red latex jumpsuit from Britney’s “Oops!… I Did It Again” music video. Even at 60 years old, she still looks so good in her costume.

#4: Kris Jenner as Jack Skellington

Kris Jenner Looked Unrecognizable In Her Spooky Halloween Costume

Now I am FULLY aware that award-winning momager, Kris Jenner, is not an official housewife. However, I think of her as an honorary one. She has made cameos on multiple episodes of RHOBH and she is a reality television icon. She deserves an honorary mention. This year she dressed up as Jack
Skellington from Tim Burton’s “Nightmare Before Christmas“.

#3: Shannon Beador as Bret Micheals

Shannon Beador and Tamra Judge go drag for charity on RHOC | Daily Mail Online

Another iconic costume from 2017. Shannon has expressed her love for Bret Michaels in the past, but she took it to a whole new level when she dressed up as the rocker on Halloween.

#2: Cynthia Bailey as 50 Cent

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: NeNe Leakes gets last laugh with Kim Zolciak on season 10 finale | Daily Mail Online

Real Housewife of Atlanta, Cynthia, made an iconic statement in 2017 when she went has rapper 50 Cent for Halloween.

#1: Lisa Rinna as Erika Jayne

Lisa Rinna dresses up as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-star Erika Jayne for Halloween | Daily Mail Online

Of course I have to rate this one as my number one pick. This costume combines two of my favorite housewives from my favorite franchise. I will never forget when Lisa walked into Kyle’s party dressed up like this. It was the talk of the night!

Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Carlton Elizabeth

Ali B

It’s that time again! Let’s dive in to the self-proclaimed witch from season four. Yes, Carlton Elizabeth only lasted one season with the women and was the wackiest one to grace our screens.

In addition to her one season stint on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Carlton was a model and actress in the 90’s and also made a cameo on Lady Gaga’s ‘G.U.Y.’ music video in 2014. She was married to producer David Gebba. On their time on RHOBH, they seemed very in love. Her witchy ways were no match for him, even though she wore a pentagram around her neck, there was not bad blood in between the two, until 2018 when they split.

Even pentagram-less, she is still intimidating

If I’m being honest, after the first or second episode I watched with her, I fast forwarded through all of her parts. She was not someone who seemed to bring anything that great to the show. She’s some sort of witch? Okay…. so is every other woman who does drugs and makes candles on this earth. Being a witch is not a personality trait, but I don’t need to be stricken-down by her powers so I’m just going to leave the rest of my comments to myself.

Scrolling through her instagram, she is still obsessed with her children, Mysteri, Destiny, and Cross, and she’s still living her best witch life. Her posts consist of her supporting the BLM movement, LGBTQAI+ community and her recent travels to various tropical places.

She was never my favorite, but she sure did make her mark on the RHOBH viewers. Let’s throw up our chalices filled with red wine and toast to Carlton. Creepy, yet consistent. Here’s to you, Carlton.

Recaps

WATNW – Kelly Bensimon

Ali B

Ah yes, it’s that time of the week again. This week, we are highlighting a not only a housewife, but a model, a mother, and an overuser of the word “creepy”. Kelly Bensimon bulldozed her way through seasons two through four of Real Housewives of New York.

Kelly’s time as a housewife was as short as her temper, but she has made a lasting impression on all fans of the show. If she wasn’t taunting Ms. Skinny Girl Cocktails herself, she was eating gummy worms and drinking vodka while blaming others for her feelings. In my honest opinion, Kelly ranks as one of the worst housewives, she’s right at the bottom with Carlton. I think one of the reasons why I didn’t like her was because she would constantly put people down for their public or private lives they were living. One of the biggest turn offs for me was when she said to Bethenny, “You are not a chef. You are a cook. It’s creepy”. For a woman who wants to be a role model to her two daughters, she sure does a lot of tearing other women down, instead of building them up.

Scary Island

As I looked to Instagram to see what Ms. Bensimon has been up to, it seems that she is minding her own business. When she’s not selling her jewelry line, she’s taking her dog for walks around town. She seems to be a firm believer in mask wearing (HALLELUJAH) and looks like she is enjoying life with her daughters by her side. All signs point to her staying in her own lane, something she should have done in 2009.

With the good, the bad, and the ugly, let’s grab our sour gummy worms and raise one for Kelly Bensimon. Someone we will never forget, but damn are we glad she’s gone!

Recaps

Turtle Time and The Last Leg

Ali B

Before I recap one of the most iconic episodes of Real Housewives of New York, it is very important that I talk about turtle time. The term coined by one Ramona Singer, she explains that turtle time is about breaking out a bottle (or eight) of Pinot Grigio and kicking back with your girlfriends under the comfort of your own roof and just have a blast. Romona takes turtle time so seriously, her tagline for season 5 is “Get the Pinot ready, because it’s turtle time”. It rolls right off the tongue, I’m guilty of saying the phrase way too much.

Let me jump into a recap of debatably the most iconic episode in Real Housewives history. There were two major things that happened in this episode: Sonja realizing what she’s worth and the leg incident. Season 6, Episode 20 of RHONY starts out with Sonja being distraught after being left by her boyfriend (almost fiancé). A newly single Countess and a tipsy New York businessman do not make for a good combo, especially when that certain tipsy NY businessman has an amazing, confident girlfriend that he “wanted” to commit to. All in all, Sonja proves to be nothing but resilient when she sits Harry down and lets him know that he was totally in the wrong and that he has lost her forever.

Now that we’ve got Sonja out of the way, let’s get to the real nitty gritty: the leg event. Season 6 was filled with attacks on Aviva, I’m not going to sit here and say if they were deserved or not, but the final straw was for Aviva was the ladies talking about if her asthma was real or not. Hmmm…. sounds a lot like Yolanda Hadid and the “m” word if you ask me, which Queen Carole brought up at the party. Anyway, Aviva being upset arrives to the Team Sonja party. Remarkably, she left Ried at home and showed up looking a little less than healthy.

And now for the main event: The Last Leg. With the women whispering and walking on eggshells around Aviva. With the white wine flowing, nothing was held back. Aviva makes her way over to the women and they immediately say how sick she looks. They are dancing around saying the word “Munchausen”, after slandering Aviva’s character and life choices, is when it starts to bubble over.

Attacks on Aviva from all the women were made and they waste no time making sure that they think she is a phony. Aviva cannot take it anymore and lets them know: “The only thing fake about me is THIS!!” and then the leg comes off. A prestigious, New York socialite chooses to slam her prosthetic leg on the table in hopes to prove what? That she isn’t being fake to all of her friends?

That truly was a statement made by Ms. Dresher, she has proven her point all while looking like a complete lunatic. All in all, the women made it through yet another season. We have to give it up for them. Let’s raise our glasses of Grigio to these seven women who are nothing less than entertaining. Here’s to turtle time!

Where Are They Now Wednesday

WATNW- Camille Grammer

Ali B

Famously married to actor Kelsey Grammar, Camille (Meyer) definitely made her mark on her time as a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. Although she pops in and out randomly throughout newer seasons, Camille was only on RHOBH for two seasons, which I could have sworn she was on more, I guess the Bravo checks weren’t big enough, so she decided to settle for cameos.

Dinner Party from Hell, Season 1

Something we cannot forget about this Bravolebrity is her famously slandering Faye Resnick for her past photoshoots. That single dinner party set the entire vibe of Camille on Real Housewives. She may have big, innocent doe eyes, but the words that come out of Camille’s mouth are anything but the slightest bit of nice.

Since she’s been off the show officially, Camille has been keeping a low profile. She has been on Watch What Happens Live! a handful of times and according to her Instagram, is still traveling, giving her well wishes to her fans, and quarinting in her beach-front Malibu home. Ever since she’s been a housewife, I have always wondered: What does Camille actually do for a living? To me, it just seems like she’s married? In my deep dive of her past, apparently she has been a dancer, performer, screenwriter, and actor, but to me, she just seems like a Beverly Hills socialite.

Although Camille is not big on drinking, we still have to toast to her. So let’s cheers our whatever-filled glasses to Camille Meyer, a never forgotten addition to the first two seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was a pleasure to get to know her, but boy am I glad we don’t have to deal with her anymore.

Recaps

Don’t Be Tardy Season 8 Premiere

Ali B

Our televisions have been graced once again with the presence of Kim Zolciak Biermann and her large amount of children. The season 8 premiere of Don’t Be Tardy came in not one, but TWO installments! Tracy kept everyone on their feet, Kim is still a control freak, and Kroy is just along for the ride.

The first episode of the premiere starts off with a run down of what the family has been up to. Brielle moved back home after staying in her downtown Atlanta apartment only 12 times, Ariana is off to college after this summer, and “The Littles” are still running around like nothing matters. We quickly find out that the Biermann bunch is off on a five-week road trip in only one RV. Kim, being her controlling self, has to make sure that each person has 40 outfits. That’s one outfit a day for 40 days for nine people. In her quest to make sure the 360 outfits make it on board (along with nine wigs, 40 bottles of wine and other excessive amounts of alcohol), the family had to rent a small semi truck in order to make sure everyone had all of their belongings. Oh! And can we talk about how Kroy made Kim her own custom wig stand in order for all of her wigs to make it on the RV? That’s the kind of love I’m looking for. After the sage cleansing of the vehicle, they are finally ready to hit the road in their quest to see the landmarks of the United States of America.

The Zolciak-Biermann family is BACK for a new season of Don’t Be Tardy… https://www.instagram.com/p/CD1u8VKB4cl/ CR: Bravo/Instagram

In the second episode of the season premiere, the bunch is in Nashville, finding goodies and stressing out about the next leg of the RV ride. In this episode we find out that Chef Bloom has a CHILD???? Honey, I thought it was a joke! When Kim said Tracy had a kid, I thought it was going to be a dog or something, not a full-blown human baby!! When did this happen, why didn’t I know about it, and who is Kannon’s other mom?

Another thing we got to see in episode two was just how serious Kim’s gambling addiction is. She made Kroy stop at a casino on their way out of Nashville, where Kroy gave her a subtle 15 minutes to get her aggression out on the slots. “Mom gambles a lot” was a phrase the littles said in their interviews. With the 15 minute time crunch, Kim went over by seven minutes and spent $400.

Lift your red solo cup to honor Kim’s sanity on this five-week adventure. One RV, eight people and only 40 bottles of wine? Good luck, Kim!