When is the last time you saw your best friend from high school? Or simply reached out to them? Losing touch with your classmate after going away to college can seem inevitable, but does it have to be? I remember crying during graduation because I knew that was going to be the last time I saw some of my closest friends. Everyone who graduated before me made it seem like we were never going to see each other again. We go away to college and get caught up in everything new, leaving all the old stuff behind. Priorities change whether we want them to or not. When I came to college I tried hard to make sure I kept in touch with my friends from home but eventually, the fire died and we drifted apart. Where does the disconnect happen and how can we prevent it?
Healthy Friendships = Healthy You
When you think of your best friend, what is the first thing that comes to mind that is something they do for you? Are they your should to cry on, advice-giver, or the life of the party? Having good, healthy relationships with people can benefit our health. Back to the life of the party idea, having a friend helps us improve our social skills. Especially during the pandemic, we feel shut out from the rest of the world. I sometimes find myself just sitting in my room all day. A friend to socialize with will help with that feeling.
Other than mental health, having a friend can also benefit our physical health and longevity. According to Psychology Today, older people without close friends are more likely to develop complications like heart disease, diabetes, and depression. How could that be? All human beings like to feel included. They don’t like being alone. I sometimes feel less motivated or timid about doing something if I have to do it alone. Think of all the “buddies” you have developed: class buddy, gym buddy, study buddy. They keep us motivated. If we have a walking buddy when we are older, too, we have a better chance of avoiding some chronic diseases.
The One Where They Didn’t Drift Apart
There are many reasons why a relationship may have fallen apart. Maybe you grew up and started finding pleasure with quiet, early nights while your friend still enjoys out partying until 2 a.m. If that’s the case, try to compromise on an activity that both of you can enjoy.
One of the biggest reasons a friendship may fall apart is because you or your friend got into a new relationship. When the relationship gets serious, the friendship can start to fizzle out. At first, this may be hurtful but think of things you could do to show your friend that the friendship is still important to you. Try going on double dates or asking if all three of you can hang out. Not only will you not lose your friend, but your friend is going to appreciate all of the support.
In high school and college, a lot of my friends developed from the classes and sports I am a part of. Every year, in every class, I try to make at least one friend. We exchange numbers and a friendship builds while talking about class, assignments, and asking for help. It is a great, beneficial friendship that I always strive for.
It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, the only thing that matters is that it is a healthy relationship for both parties. Drifting apart can happen and, you don’t even realize it. Reaching out to an old friend will not only make them feel good but, relighting an old flame can have benefits to your health, too. What is the longest friendship you’ve had? I challenge you to through your phone and find someone you haven’t talk to in a while. You may be surprised as to how fast the connection clicks back.
I think that having friends that drift away is just a natural part of life, especially when you’re in your twenties and everyone you knew from school starts to go down their own paths and your lives just don’t fit anymore. I do think it is nice to reach out to old friends, so I will try to contact some old friends!
I think having friends can definitely make life more bearable at times. I was more introverted back in elementary and high school so I did have a smaller friend group, but I still got along well with them. When going into Whitewater though I realized that barely anyone from high school was there, so as a result, I decided to make new friends. As a result, my current friend group is now much larger than it ever was.
I really like the idea behind your blog. This one in particular, reaches out to people about seeing friends. Friends are a huge part of everyone’s life, and they can make it better. It is important to stay in touch with them so you don’t lose them in the future. Awesome post this week!
Really good thoughts! I tend to roll with a small crowd – it’s hard for me to keep up with many friendships. One thing I have done before, similar to what you said, is scrolling to the bottom of my texts and texting the bottom 3 people every day. This ensures that you’re not forgetting to keep up with people. It’s a hard habit to keep up with, but rewarding!
It was hard not to think about the friendships in my own life that have drifted off after high school. I think to have your own smaller circle of friends is very healthy for your own good. It sucks but It just seems like a part of life we all go through. Really love this blog, you’re killin it.
It feels like it is almost hard to reach out sometimes when you haven’t connected in a while, I will be reaching out to some people. Also, you are doing fantastic with your blog!