Since the end of this past June, I had been given advice to make an online art portfolio of my work so that when I apply for jobs I had an online website to show my work. This was supposed to improve my chances of being hired after graduation and I had procrastinated on it for months. With December approaching so quickly I started to feel the stress and pressures of what is expected after a person graduates college. I have the sad reminder that people without jobs when they graduate are looked at like failures in society.
I didn’t do the portfolio earlier in the semester because I was afraid my work wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t have a good enough website. So instead of getting ahead of the issue and spending more time on it my mind said just don’t do it. If I didn’t do it then the reason the jobs or applications never got back to me was because I didn’t have a website and not because I wasn’t good enough for the job.
My constant fear of not being good enough or perfect enough was hurting my own future. This mindset needs to stop. I am good enough to get a job with or without a portfolio, but why limit my options? I am creative, fun, motivated, and capable of achieving my goals and today I made sure to follow through on the main thing that had been stressing my out in my work life. Today I decided during a moment of stress and racing thoughts, that instead of working on homework I should attack the root cause of the stress. I worked on my portfolio website for over 9 hours today and it is finally done. I can officially use it for my LinkedIn website (which I already added it to and updated, thank you very much) and I can attach it to any jobs I have applied for and it feels so good now that its done. Its not only crossed off the to do list, I also challenged my mental health and said overcoming the fear is better than not knowing the outcome. That reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite movies as a teen.
“Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.”Babe Ruth
I will be writing a message on my door so I can see this quote every morning. I am so happy that today I conquered the fear of not being good enough and I want to continue to push through this challenging mindset every day until I no longer need to look at the quote on my door. Thanks for listening to me ramble, and I hope whatever you find yourself putting on the back burner in your life because you feel like you are not ready to take the leap. Take it. Babe Ruth would want you to take the chance of striking out.