The Miz: Alternate Universe John Cena?

Smackdown’s first in-ring segment (I wasn’t going to cover the cold open as a proper first segment), saw The Miz and Maryse “interview” John Cena on Miz TV. I put interview in quotes as it was more or less a platform for The Miz to shoot on Cena for a good 10 minutes. Cutting Cena’s mic right away, Miz began running down the face that runs the place by bringing up 10 years of complaints in rapid fire. While The Miz echoed complaints of AJ Styles by saying Cena is a hyprocrite for going to Hollywood after criticizing The Rock for the same thing back during their program and that Cena manipulated his way to the top, he also brought up his own points by asserting that he himself has always been seen as “the other guy”.

This is an interesting idea as The Miz seemingly has all the assets now to be in a John Cena role and yet cannot be due to Cena. I can completely imagine that in an alternate universe, The Miz is the huge star that Cena is and it’s almost sad that The Miz will seemingly never escape that shadow and forever remain “the guy from The Real World” as his talent in the past year has been astounding.

The Miz’s rant ends with him saying this was all the justification he needed to toss Cena out of last week’s battle royal as he wanted Cena to feel the loss of opportunity that he has felt for 10 years.

Cena’s turn on the mic came and got ready to “turn his theory into crap”. As great as The Miz’s mic work was, Cena turned things up to eleven. He began by arguing that if he had his way, he’d be facing Undertaker at Mania (shedding light on the match that was rumored for this year possibly being taken away from him) and continued his retort by attacking The Miz’s character. As Cena convincingly put it:

“The Miz is just a guy named Mike who changed his name for The Real World, stole The Rock’s personality, Chris Jericho’s attitude, Daniel Bryan’s offense, and AJ Style’s insults. (The greats) are just themselves turned up to eleven, you’re just an unclear amalgamation”

This jaw droppingly real comeback was followed with “Next time we meet, don’t bring a knife to a gun fight” and “You may not be the Undertaker, but if you do this again: you’ll be a deadman”. As Cena began to leave, Maryse stopped him and promptly slapped him for talking to her husband like that. This led to Nikki Bella coming down and cursing the opposing couple out of the ring with an emphatic “You mess with my man, Im’ma break ya’ bitch”

This segment is quite possibly the best mic work of Miz’s career and the best mic work recently from Cena and left the audience reeling. Both men came off as genuinely expressing how they felt and that made the segment all the more investing. The rumored match between the two men and their women at Mania seemed like a misuse of talent before but is now somehow one of the most anticipated matches on the card. This is made even more captivating by the fact that neither men are seemingly wrong and the blurring of reality and fiction should make this match even more captivating in the weeks to come if this buildup can be maintained.

Overall Score: 10/10

A Swerve and a Superkick

The match between Luke Harper and AJ Styles to decide who would face Bray Wyatt at WrestleMania happened in the middle of the show for some reason rather than in the main event and very little of this match was hyped up before despite it’s storyline importance. Regardless, this match served as a another display of Luke Harper’s amazing wrestling ability and of his newfound strength being booked in matches. Harper dominated for a large portion of this match and received chants from the crowd during a large portion of the match as well. If Harper is truly a face now in the eyes of Creative (as he is in the crowd), as unlikely as he is as a face, it is great to see him finally get the spotlight he deserves given how underrated he has been for so long.

Despite all of this, Styles ended up getting the “win” with a surprise Phenomenal Forearm in a rather anticlimactic fashion while Harper had his foot on the bottom rope, before Shane McMahon came out to restart the match in light of the referee not seeing this rope break. This caused Styles to confront the commissioner of Smackdown and this of course led to Harper accidentally kicking Shane in an attempt to superkick Styles while he was distracted. Even with this second chance, Harper soon lost again after suffering a 450 splash at the hands of Styles once they found their way back to the ring and Styles was announced as the new number 1 contender.

The tension between Shane and Styles culminating in a missed superkick seems to seal the deal on a Shane vs. Styles match at Mania but Styles winning seemed to suggest a change in plans as Harper seemed the obvious choice here to face Bray. I would assumed that next week Shane will take away Styles’ opportunity given the kick and what transpired later, although I am not a huge fan of this idea given how Styles won clean on this night.

The match itself here was a great match but the Dusty finish, restarting, and illogical swerve all soured me on it. The same tension between Styles and Shane could have been created in much better ways in my opinion and those ways would still leave Harper looking strong in victory.

Overall Score: 7/10

Randy Orton Should Probably Go to Jail…

Bray Wyatt’s unannounced championship “Invocation” closed the show and began as a typical Wyatt segment does. Suspiciously however, Randy Orton was not accompanying Wyatt and this quickly became a point of focus as after declaring himself a deity in the face of the mortal AJ Styles, Wyatt mentioned how Bray comes from a place where Orton is now. What seemed like a figurative comment became reality as Orton appeared on the titantron in the shed where Wyatt is typically seen in his rocking chair. Orton begins talking to Bray and it quickly becomes clear that something is not right here. Orton’s tone gradually becomes more sinister and it becomes clear that Orton is there to cause some havoc after he states “This is your world Bray, but it is not mine”. A look of anger fills Bray’s face as he realizes he has been betrayed. This is furthered by Orton’s increasing arrogance and statement of “If you can’t beat em, screw em!”

Orton continues by explaining that the site of where he is is where the long fabled Sister Abigail that Bray Wyatt covets is buried and he slowly raises a pickaxe. Cinematic cuts to a worm filled hole follow and Orton explains that Abigail is nothing but bones now as maggots and worms have eaten her away. The entirety of the time Orton has been talking, a slow, plodding, rhythmic drum has been playing in the background and this stops when Orton grabs Wyatt’s signature rocking chair which has been rocking the entire time. Orton asserts that he will now make Bray the servant and himself the master and grabs a can of gasoline as the drums return. Orton drenches the shed and grave in gas while exclaiming “You’re about to hear Sister Abigail SCREAM, Bray!”

As this is happening, Bray Wyatt is in an emotional state we have never seen before and is breaking down and screaming. As Orton light the fire and makes his signature pose, the camera cuts between the two men with Orton staring directly into the camera and Wyatt being filled with rage and sadness.

This segment was an emotional powerhouse and seemingly Smackdown’s response to Raw’s Festival of Friendship from a few weeks back in terms of cinematography and impact. As much as I want to criticize this segment for seeming rushed ahead as though we never got the second act of a three act story, and how it relied on the Sister Abigail story which has always been unclear and often forgotten, it’s so hard to be when Randy Orton delivered perhaps the best promo of his career and Bray Wyatt sold his distress like a master. As much as Bray Wyatt’s whole gimmick may seem cartoonish out of context, the seriousness which this segment was played with made it totally captivating. I cannot remember the last time a segment like this pulled me in so much and completely absorbed me in the story.

Regardless, I can’t ignore the flaws of this segment in terms of the storyline it exists in and cannot give it a 10 out of 10.

Overall Score: 8/10

Average Total Score: 8/10

Smackdown’s three big segments were nearly perfect if it wasn’t for a few glaring plot issues which made the events feel much more contrived than they should, this show could have been a powerhouse on the road to WrestleMania.

Winner this Week: Monday Night Raw

Despite all Smackdown did this week to impress me, I can’t get past the plot issues which drag them down. Raw’s three big segments may have been more lackluster overall but they were at least consistent with the plots going on and made sense within the story whereas Smackdown felt as though a few weeks of narrative were skipped (which I feel may have been the case given how Bray’s invocation was unannounced) Either way, both shows were strong and the road to Mania rolls on!

Till next time,

Lucas

My posts on this blog have been long…and time consuming. As much as I love talking about wrestling, I feel my current method for covering both Raw and Smackdown is just too much given how much else I have to do this semester. From now on I will be solely focusing on the opening, closing, and a middle segment of each show in comparing the two programs. I hope that this will not only prevent me from having to write 2500+ words ever week in order to cover each show, but allow me to cover what are arguably the most important segments in a more in-depth manner. I will also begin grading segments on a 10 point scale as to hopefully gain more nuance in the face of a lack quantity

Now, on with the first post of this new format!

Goldberg Continues to Prove His Worth

Raw began this week in a rather retro fashion as Goldberg entered with all of the buildup and chants that Green Bay could muster. With a mic in his hand, Ol’ Bill controlled the Resch Center with a level of calmness and confidence that few Superstars can muster, let alone Bill himself back in the 90s. Goldberg asserted that he never breaks his promises and by promising to win the Universal title from Owens, sealed KO’s fate.

Hearing his name, Owens immediately comes out and after a rare verbal stumble, delivers a great promo where he reminds everyone that he has beat John Cena, the entirety of the Shield in 1 on 1 contests, and even Chris Jericho (although he won’t give him more than a passive mention). The most important part of this promo was possibly what KO said next as he stated Goldberg is the next person who will feed into the “evolution of KO”. Evolution is obviously the keyword here as it is again a callback to Triple H, this time referencing his previous stable. As much as a second version of this stable with Triple H stepping into Ric Flair’s role has been rumored, this almost seals the deal on this actually happening with Samoa Joe being another obvious member.

After hearing all of this , Goldberg asks to fight Kevin Owens in Green Bay rather than wait till Sunday and momentarily Kevin Owens seems to accept his challenge as he ups the ante by offering a “Green Bay Street Fight”. KO quickly remembers he is in Green Bay though and he believes they don’t believe they need to see that and begins to make his exit. While the fact that this was in Green Bay was rather arbitrary, KO upping the ante and then going back on his offer is a great heel move that only does more to make him hated by the crowd.

The segment ends with Owens stating that “At Fastlane, the Goldberg chant dies!” and although this will obviously not be the case, it was a strong way to end the segment and overall this was a great way to open the show. When Raw begins on a strong note, the rest of the show feels like much less of a drag as a result as you aren’t waiting for something of consequence to happen.

In addition, while this wasn’t the best go-home segment for a title match, it was a good way of hyping up the match further and utilizing Goldberg’s massively improved mic skills by pitting him against someone who is equally strong.

Overall Score: 8/10

Samoa Joe: Magician?

A little less than midway through the show, Corey Graves welcomed the audience back from commercial break and prepared to interview Seth Rollins about his status at WrestleMania. Rollins came down on a single crutch and as Graves began to ask simple questions about how everything is going, Rollins seemed genuinely emotional regarding it all before revealing that is doesn’t look like he will be cleared by doctors to compete. It is still unclear whether or not this is a shoot or a work (not the injury itself, but the clearance) but Rollins promo made it seem so.

Given how heartfelt and intense this promo was, it’s a shame that some assholes decided it would be a good idea to chant “CM Punk” during this segment and although they were quickly shut down by the rest of the audience, it essentially ruined what was a fantastic segment otherwise. There is a time and place for that chant and this was not it.

Just as this segment was reaching an emotional crescendo, a smug HHH made his way to the ring and talks down to Rollins by essentially reinforcing the idea that he introduced in that Rollins is getting what he deserved. This led to HHH bringing up that Rollins “remembers Samoa Joe, right?” before cutting to a shot of Joe all of sudden standing behind Rollins, outside the ring. This was shot really well and served to create a great visual of HHH literally surrounding him but I genuinely have no idea how Joe got there.

HHH continued and Samoa Joe stepped up onto the apron of the ring and as Rollins turned to look, Triple H demanded that Rollins look at him and not Joe. Not only was this moment a great reinforcement of HHH’s role as a paternal figure to Rollins by having him treat Rollins like a petulant child, but also helped to up the intensity as the camerawork hid Joe from view even though the audience knew he was there. This created a great amount of tension as you didn’t know if Joe was going to attack at any given moment.

HHH continued to demand that Rollins not show up at WrestleMania and demand a match as if he does, it will be the last thing he ever does in a WWE ring. As HHH and Joe attempt to leave, Rollins finally speaks up by calling Triple H “Hunter” (the kayfabe equivalent of calling your father by his first name), and says that because he has nothing to lose he will be at Mania in some capacity as “…if it’s the last thing I ever do, it will be the last thing you ever do!”

Overall Score: 9/10

Who Will Stop Strowman?

Earlier in the night, Braun Strowman demanded a contract signing for his match at Fastlane with Roman Reigns as to prevent Reigns from running away. Surprisingly, this segment main evented the show and began with Foley and Strowman out in the ring. This first part largely served to advance Foley’s storyline as General Manager by having Strowman assert that he no longer respects Foley for the athlete he used to be but the “worn-out” old man he is now. After taking enough verbal abuse, Foley finally snaps and gets in Strowman’s face as he demands respect based on the fact that he is a legend.

Before this can escalate further, Reigns comes out to sign his half of the contract and this quickly devolves into a brawl between the two competitors. This spills into the crowd as cool spot after cool spot follows. This highlight of this was Reigns spearing Strowman and an unfortunate security guard through a barrier which led to Reigns finally looking to sign the contract for real. In a great moment, just as Reigns was about to sign, Strowman stood up and the brawl continued as Reigns looked to finish the job. This backfired and Strowman pushed Reigns into a turnbuckle to make it literally explode outwards in what was an incredibly violent and visually stunning moment as Reigns looked genuinely broken afterwards. He eventually lifted his upper body enough to sign the contract in what was a really fantastic visual to end Raw on.

Although the idea of a contract signing is rather boring at this point, the fact that Strowman demanded this only to attack Reigns added some depth to his character if this is to be interpreted as Strowman setting this up only to attack his opponent. Additionally, this segment really made the odds seem stacked against Reigns, giving him his first genuine challenge in ages.

Overall Score: 10/10

Average Total Score: 9/10

Raw this week opened and closed on blockbuster segments that built great interest towards Fastlane with an amazing segment in the middle that built up an amazing feud going into WrestleMania. It is rare that Raw seems to be looking past the closest PPV and this mix of immediate and long-term hype-building was very welcome and I hope this will continue in the future.

Till next time,

Lucas

The End of the Glow Era

Smackdown opened this week on a depressing note as Naomi was forced to relinquish her title at the request of Daniel Bryan. This was made even more depressing given Bryan’s history of injuries stopping him short. The promo delivered by Naomi in light of this situation was both passionate and heartbreaking as you could tell this was largely a shoot. There is little to say here other than I hope that Naomi is healthy soon and able to return by WrestleMania.

Overall Score: 5/5

The Women’s Title is Back Where it Belongs(?)

With a vacant title, a new champion is clearly needed and thus a match between Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss is set up by Daniel Bryan right away. This match was honestly underwhelming and seemed shoved in just so a new champ could be crowned as it was over pretty quick with Bliss winning after a cheap shot to the throat and a rollup.

I can’t tell if these two just don’t gel well together in the ring or if Bliss isn’t on Becky’s level and it makes her look weak but I can’t remember a great match between these two in the past few months. Despite this, I’m happy that Bliss has the title back as she owned it when she had it, and without Naomi it makes sense to put it on a heel for a feel good win for either Lynch or (hopefully) Naomi at Mania.

Overall Score: 2/5

Smackdown’s Tag Division: The Unfunniest Joke

American Alpha took on the comedy duo of Breezango in what was essentially another Alpha squash match which makes the rest of the tag division look like a cakewalk. This not only undermines them as champs but makes the confrontation with the Usos which followed all the more indicative of it’s staleness.

The aforementioned confrontation did however showcase how far the Usos have come as heels as they were surprisingly terrific on the mic with great pace and substance, incredible style that is a far cry from their face paint gimmick of last year, and a passion that is unrivaled in the division. It’s just too bad that this is being directed towards American Alpha, a team whom they have already fought before and simply feels like a retread. I certainly hope the Usos win the titles at Mania as they need some title credibility to go with their heel act or they will just become The Club of Smackdown.

Overall Score: 3/5

Nikki Bella Steals the Show(!)

The blowoff match between Nikki Bella and Natalya finally arrived next and despite their great match at Elimination Chamber, I assumed that was something of a fluke as I wasn’t expecting anything nearly that good again. Thankfully, story concerns aside, I was proven wrong again.

This match was a barn burner and the two women went across the arena beating each other up like it was WWE 2k17 and they wanted to hit all the special finishers. High spot after high spot kept this match moving forward and a surprisingly level of brutality kept it compelling. Natalya eventually went over after Maryse got involved and attacked Nikki with a pipe to assumedly set up the rumored tag match between Miz and Cena and their respective women and this is where my one complaint lies with this match. With Maryse getting involved, the win by Natalya is somewhat tainted and not really fitting of a blowoff.

Regardless, Nikki Bella continues to impress and I am almost sad she is retiring soon allegedly. What a strange day it is.

Overall Score: 4/5

That Could’ve Gone Better

The main event to determine who will main event WrestleMania in the place of Randy Orton followed in what was a very light Smackdown in terms of segments. Despite about half the participants not being ready for the main event scene, they were eliminated early enough and their stories were progressed in the process that their place was certainly not a waste (ignore the fact that their are no alternatives). The match really kicked off when the genuine contenders were all that remained and the Road to WrestleMania became a bit more clear. Tensions were raised between Corbin and Ambrose again as they led to each other’s eliminations, the Miz eliminated a distracted John Cena to further set up the aforementioned rumored intergender tag match at Mania, and when Harper and Styles were the only ones left in the ring, two different narratives presented themselves as options.

While AJ Styles against Bray Wyatt at Mania would be a great match between two heels that would inevitably see one make a face turn, Luke Harper against Bray would perhaps be underwhelming in terms of starpower but amazing in terms of narrative climax as the Wyatt family would come to blows on the grandest stage. Given how tantalizing both these options are, I’m glad that they decided to have the match end in a draw to make the audience consider that when both men hit the floor at the same time. The only problem is in doing this spot, Styles clearly hit the ground first and they decided to still run with the idea that he had hit at the same time as Harper. Not only does this make the audience feel like idiots but spits in the face of the rules established. I can’t imagine this spot would be too hard to pull off but Styles and Harper seemed to make it harder than it needed to be for the sake of spectacle and as a result the main event scene is muddied. Apparently a match will decide who is the winner next week but, I hope that they will address the controversy in a way that explains it better and doesn’t insult the audience.

Overall Score: 3/5

Average Total Score: 3/5

Smackdown was a surprisingly lightweight show this week and with almost the entirety of the upper and mid-card in the main event it is easy to see why. Even then there was a questionable lack of Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton outside of a small pre taped promo. When your Champion seems like an afterthought on his own show, you know something is wrong.

Winner this Week: Monday Night Raw

Raw continues it’s warpath through Smackdown as Raw delivered another show which felt important and action packed with few bad segments at all. Smackdown on the other hand felt really small and hard to take serious in light of all Raw is doing that feels creative and new. Smackdown is seemingly in a rut right now that contrasts greatly with how they were performing last year and Raw is now as good as it is an important show.

Till next time,

Lucas

Kevin Owens: Shakespearean Actor

Raw opened this week in a unique fashion as Kevin Owens was in the center of the ring with a spotlight on him literally and figuratively. His suit brought to mind Samoa Joe and Triple H and his promo did the same. Declaring that he has never believed the hype behind Goldberg and plans to simply outsmart him, it is clear that this Kevin Owens is no longer the comedy act of the past year and back to the ruthless fighter that he was in NXT. This segment may end up being one that defines Owens’ career in the future as it was both intense and captivating while seeming grounded in reality as Goldberg’s inability to last long in matches was surprisingly brought up.

The whole segment had a very stage play monologue vibe to it and perhaps the most interesting line of it all was: “I know how to play the game better than anyone else!” However unsubtle it was, this nod to Triple H was far more understated than WWE usually is and creates incredibly interest going forward as to what role HHH is playing behind the scenes.

Overall Score: 5/5

Where next for Shesaro?

A tag match followed as the culmination of the dull feud Enzo/Cass and Cesaro/Sheamus feud to decide the number one contendership for the tag belts at Fastlane. Despite how disinterested I have been in these teams fighting verbally, this physical confrontation was really enjoyable with plenty of good spots. It’s really nice to see Enzo and Cass in the title hunt again after being aimless for months and I was shocked to see them go over here given how over Cesaro and Sheamus have been and how much Enzo and Cass don’t need belts to be popular. I doubt they’ll win at Fastlane as the Club needs to remain strong but it at least gives them some legitimacy back that they have lost in the past few months

My only complaints about the match have less to do with the actual ring work but with the storytelling. At this point the tension between Cesaro and Sheamus that built at the Royal Rumble seems all but forgotten despite being a very interesting concept. In addition, Enzo is clearly beginning to get on the nerves of some fans and the chants of “Thank you Sheamus” after the Celtic Warrior’s post match attack is an example of this. Enzo really needs to be reeled back on promos or he is gonna end up falling off with the fans real quick in my estimation.

Overall Score: 4/5

The Fast Track to the Cruiserweight Mid-Card

Akira Tozawa’s problems with Brian Kendrick came to blows earlier than I anticipated this week as the two were set for a match that ended up not happening. There isn’t much to say here than Kendrick ended up slapping Tozawa for not accepting his pre-match handshake. While this would typically be a heel action for Tozawa in the context of the cruiserweight division, it was a nice character moment for him as it allowed him to stand up to the heel Kendrick. While Tozawa was left reeling after this, a future match will hopefully see Tozawa go over and hopefully move up from the Cruiserweight mid-card that he is currently in after only 3 weeks.

Overall Score: 4/5

Killing Time

Both Roman Reigns and The Club have big things coming up at Fastlane. Both Roman Reigns and The Club had their opponents at Fastlane busy elsewhere on Monday. What do you do to solve this? The typical WWE approach where all the leftover pieces of a puzzle are thrown into a match with each other and nothing of consequence happens. Great.

In the end, The Club went over via Reigns hitting them with a chair and although Reign’s outburst was badass and reminiscent of his short run as a ruthless hero in late 2015 that got him over, it’s hard to not feel that The Club were being buried as one man beats two men who are considered the top of the division in kayfabe

Overall Score: 2/5

Clash of the Utility Talent

The New Day took on Rusev and Jinder Mahal in another inconsequential match next, but with the added context of involving talent that isn’t doing anything else. With that context, this segment was just dumb fun as the New Day learned that Lana had secured their plans for an Ice Cream machine and had to get them back. This resulted in a cartoonishly hilarious spot where Xavier Woods scared the iPad with the plans on it out of Lana’s hands by playing his trombone behind her. This spot surrounded a fun, well booked match where no one really gets buried and everyone gets more over with the crowd. Given that the New Day will be the “hosts” of WrestleMania, it’s easy to see that they are essentially utility talent that can make any segment entertaining and given all they’ve accomplished in ring, I don’t mind this at all.

Overall Score: 5/5

From Irrelevant to Captivating

Given how little I cared about the Cruiserweight title match at Fastlane in terms of story up until this point, this contract signing did wonders for the narrative between Jack Gallagher and Neville. Despite the segment beginning with a dead crowd, as these two went off on each other on the mic (a particular highlight being Gallagher suggesting they eat tea and biscuits during the signing, garnering a chant of “Tea and Biscuits” from the crowd) the crowd got more and more behind them. As the segment progressed, it became clear the feud is going to be over how each man represents their home country of England as Gallagher believes he is more than a stereotype and a genuine gentleman and Neville believes he is the true face of the UK and its grime and ugliness. Both men killed it here on the mic and Gallagher particularly made himself a believable contender, especially as he drove away Neville.

Overall Score: 5/5

Blink and You’ll Miss It

Nia Jax fell back on squash matches this week in a match that I literally fast forwarded through on accident. She also continued to be unconvincing on the mic after the match and threw her hat in the ring for the women’s title.

I really didn’t care.

Overall Score: 1/5

Gone Too Soon

Bayley addressed the WWE Universe next as she commented on the controversy of last week’s stellar women’s title match and soon enough Stephanie McMahon came out asking her to relinquish the title due to Sasha Banks interference. Soon enough, Banks herself come out and tries to persuade Bayley to keep it, acting like the angel on Bayley’s shoulder to Stephanie’s devil. Eventually Bayley decides she won’t relinquish it and Charlotte comes out to announce she doesn’t even want the title handed back, but wants to win it back at Fastlane. Every women here does an absolutely stellar job fulfilling their roles with special credit going to Bayley for conveying both earnest happiness and internal conflict with ease.

In the end, Charlotte ended up taking on Sasha Banks in a rematch that reminded everyone of how great their feud was last year with another stellar match that was at worst over pretty quick as Sasha went over. While I assume that this indicates Charlotte will get her heat back at Fastlane, at the moment it’s nice to just enjoy great women’s wrestling.

Overall Score: 5/5

The Destroyer Does Just That

As Sami Zayn was approaching the ring to face Kevin Owens once again I was really not excited to see these two face off again despite that they are incredible workers. Luckily, expectations were subverted as Samoa Joe attacked Zayn before he could even enter the squared circle. Zayn was brutalized by Joe (who was suspiciously in dress clothes) and was then thrown in the ring with Kevin Owens to start the match at Zayn’s request. Owens made quick work of Zayn and won but not before an obvious link between Owens and Joe was created. Clearly this is meant to bring to mind Triple H again and possibly hint at a new faction between the three. Again this was much more subtle than Raw usually is and I appreciated it. Zayn insisting he should go on even after being destroyed by Joe was another nice touch of character building.

Overall Score: 5/5

A Massive Main Event in Every Way

The much hyped match between Braun Strowman and Big Show closed Raw this week and felt huge in every way possible. Besides the obvious size of the competitors, this match with no story buildup somehow was built up as a match of great significance with constant mention of the similarities between these two on commentary, a “tale of the tape” and a big fight “feel” that is hard to articulate. I honestly wish WWE would do this more and just have special attraction matches for the sake of the attraction as it makes the show feel more important.

These two men put on a hell of a match and both came across as genuine spectacles in their attempts to out power each other. The suplex contest between the two was probably the best example of this but there were plenty of other fun spots taking advantage of these men’s strength. It’s great to see big superstars still getting a chance to shine and put on great matches that take advantage of their skills and I hope this starts a trend as the crowd themselves seemed to be really into it as well.

Strowman put away Big Show with two powerslams and soon enough Roman Reigns came out to build up his match with Strowman at Fastlane. Reigns thankfully knocked out by Strowman quickly and the show ended with the monster among men standing tall.

Overall Score: 5/5

Average Score: 4/5

While not hitting the highs of last week, Raw was still a very capable show again this week and a lot of this had to do with the pages Raw took out of Smackdown’s book by being more subtle, more focused, more artistic, and by building matches to be huge events throughout the night.

Till Next Time,

Lucas

The Era of Wyatt Begins

Smackdown begun in strong fashion by having Bray Wyatt come out and deliver a promo that seemed as though it had been on his lips for ages. Wyatt completely owned this moment in every possible way: he was decked out in a new maroon jacket and his classic fedora in a way that ushered in a new reign yet called to the past, he made the diamonds on his belt shimmer in the light of his trademark lantern, and delivered his promo with such passion and joy that the line between kayfabe and real life was blurred.

He was quickly interrupted by a very heel acting Cena and the supremely over AJ Styles, with the “heels” here getting the most love from the crowd in Styles and Wyatt. The three squabbled before Daniel Bryan and unfortunately brought attention to the fact that the title scene on Smackdown is totally random in terms of who is number one contender by announcing a triple threat match for the title between the men in place of the announced one on one match between Cena and Wyatt. This is problematic as, in summary, AJ Styles never got his one on one rematch for the title, Cena got his snuffed out here, and Orton is the number one contender at WrestleMania thanks to his Royal Rumble win. In other words, Wyatt has three contenders for his belt already and has only had it for two days.

Problems with this overbooking aside, all three men here were strong on the mic and at least an exciting triple threat was set up.

Overall Score: 4/5

Oh Where Oh Where Has the Lone Wolf Gone?

The brief segment which followed showed Dean Ambrose searching for Baron Corbin backstage in a manic manner after Corbin eliminated him in the Elimination Chamber on Sunday.

Next…

Overall Score: 3/5

I’d Say This Was Amateur Wrestling But Y’know…

American Alpha took on the recently re-buried Ascension in a match that made no one look good despite Alpha’s clean finish. I’m not huge on either of these teams and this match did very little to make me care any more. Alpha was not selling the fact that the Uso’s decimated their legs on Sunday in Kayfabe, the crowd was dead silent the entire time, and there was an extremely messy botched spot where all four men somehow seemingly forgot what they were supposed to be doing as Alpha came off the top rope to attack Ascension

Alpha won (which is saying very little given how the Ascension are so low on the tag team totem pole) and the most interesting team in the division in The Usos appeared on the titantron to call them out. As good as The Usos’ promo was, the fact that these teams have already feuded two or three times since the brand split really makes the idea of ANOTHER feud between these groups seem really unappealing

Overall Score: 1/5

Settle The Already Settled Score?

We get another segment of Dean Ambrose looking for Corbin but this time he runs into James Ellsworth and Carmella being comedy acts and subsequently asks if they know where Corbin is. This eventually leads to Ambrose making a comment at Carmella’s expense, to which she asks Ellsworth to defend her honor. Daniel Bryan is nearby and sets up a match between Ambrose and Ellsworth in order to settle this and the WWE Universe collectibly sighs at the idea of these two facing off considering how often they faced off late last year. Bryan even mentions this match can be used to settle the score between them, despite the fact that this storyline was essentially dead after the Royal Rumble.

Bryan is just on a roll when it comes to making little sense tonight.

Overall Score: 2/5

“Thank You Corbin!”

After the commercial break, Ellsworth and Carmella are in the ring and it becomes clear that the unanticipated Ambrose/Ellsworth match is happening ASAP. Thankfully, when Ambrose’s music hits (thankfully interrupting Ellsworth’s awful mic skills) Baron Corbin drags the Lunatic Fringe out on stage instead and massacres him. The segment ended with Corbin throwing Ambrose through a table which was admittedly a cool visual as it usually is, even if the timed electrical explosion which was supposed to happen simultaneously was slightly off.

I think Corbin stopping this match from happening was pretty much a face turn /s.

Overall Score: 3/5

What Have We Done to Deserve This?

Despite having a really surprisingly good match on Sunday, I would not care at all if the Nikki Bella and Natalya storyline was just dropped despite the fact there was no concrete winner at the PPV given that we still have to suffer through more backstage drivel because of it. Once again, these two women insulted each other heavily over stupid, juvenile garbage and it led to a fight. As a result, Daniel Bryan (who is seemingly omnipresent tonight) sets up a Falls Count Anywhere match for next week between the two in what is HOPEFULLY the blowoff match, and with Nikki Bella leaving the company soon allegedly and Natalya really having no heat anymore, no one will really win anyways. Cool.

Overall Score: 2/5

Dolph Ziggler & Baron Corbin May Need Speech Therapy

The next two segments were both interview segments which both had the same problem to humorous effect so I’m gonna group them together here. Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler were both interviewed backstage (in that order if you must know) and with both being heels, they attempted to talk in a manner that makes you hate them. Corbin does this with a tone that indicates that he is sick of being there and couldn’t care less about the interview. Ziggler on the other hand talks really slow in a way that doesn’t make you hang onto every word but pissed cause you want him to get to the point as none of his words seem deliberate or powerful. While both of these are good ideas in theory, Corbin’s method comes across as silly due to the inflection he uses which makes him sound like he belongs in the film Clueless as Cher’s friend and Ziggler’s method is the same used by Chris Jericho as a heel in 2009 and thus it isn’t fresh at all. As a result of this, both segments really fall flat and are nothing more than heels saying generic heel things.

At least we finally discover Ziggler’s motivation for his recent turn: he is tired of other people stealing the spotlight because his nickname is “The Show Stealer”…

Riveting.

Overall Score: 1/5 and 1/5 Respectively

Let’s Nullify A Two Day Old Match

Becky Lynch and Mickie James took each other on next in a rematch of their match from Sunday. Considering a title wasn’t involved here and the finish wasn’t necessarily indecisive, I don’t understand why a rematch was needed but regardless the women are two good workers and thus I guess I don’t mind in theory. In fact, the match was a really good match overall with Lynch looking dominant (and snazzy I might add in a new maroon outfit) and both women selling well. The problem arises from the fact that Mickie won this match after losing on Sunday and getting dominated in the match itself. I know the reasoning behind this is that she feigned an injury to lower Lynch’s guard but this just serves to make Lynch look dumb and Mickie’s loss an a larger stage (a PPV) seem meaningless as both women are now on equal ground in kayfabe.

Overall Score: 3/5

Naomi Already Out of Steam?

After surprisingly winning the women’s title from Alexa Bliss on Sunday, Naomi comes out to discuss her title victory with Renee Young and announce she was injured (out of kayfabe) in the aforementioned match. I was afraid that this would have to lead to her relinquishing the title after an emotional win but thankfully the injury doesn’t seem that severe. Bliss predictably comes out and confronts Naomi and essentially asserts that she lucked out against her. Naomi verbally fights back and the segment abruptly ends. Overall the segment had the two women doing consistent character work but in the end was rather boring.

Overall Score: 3/5

Finishers Don’t Finish

The main event comes next in what was a really brief feeling Smackdown, something which I think is because of a lack of a consistent narrative thread here as the show seemed more broken up than usual. Regardless, I was hyped for this match and it began with a bang as Luke Harper attacked his former master in Bray Wyatt before the match even started. Unfortunately the match quickly devolved into a finisher fest as all three men resorted to their final moves rather quickly in a rather anticlimactic manner due to such little buildup. I assume this was to cover the fact that all three men were probably still recovering from Elimination Chamber and thus couldn’t work a crazy match. Despite all this, their were some cool aspects of this match that I will list below:

Wyatt was strongly booked as a face by getting attacked by Harper early on but reentering the match (fighting adversity, etc.)
John Cena resorting to two AAs right away to put away AJ Styles was great continuity
Bray Wyatt kicked out of an AA and put Cena away with a second Sister Abigail this week(!)

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As stated above, Wyatt wins and Randy Orton comes out afterwards to set up the most interesting part of the night: will Orton face his master at WrestleMania as intended? The answer is revealed as “No” when Orton says he can’t go against his mentor with Wyatt clearly taking enjoyment in this fact. While this does throw the supposed announced main event of WrestleMania in the air, the plot still has plenty of time to develop and at the moment this is a great moment for fans to consider what could happen next.

Overall Score: 3/5

Average Total Score: 2/5

This Smackdown was a total mess in my opinion. With very little in the way of a consistent narrative thread and a lot of segments that were just average at best, it’s easy to see why this episode has the score it has.

Winner this week: Monday Night Raw

Raw pulls out a second consecutive victory, but this time in a landslide. With the way Smackdown usually uses it’s limited talent better, I thought that this week would see the writers step up their game significantly to tackle Raw but it seems more like they just gave up. As boring as Raw has been in the past few months, it seems that with a lot of their long terms storytelling finally reaching a payoff, Smackdown may once again become the B show of the two in terms of both quality and scope.

Till next time,

Lucas

What a Difference a Year Can Make

Raw regrettably kicked off with the Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon, entering the ring to kick off the show where she began to run down Mick Foley (again) and further make her more hated without an inevitable comeuppance to look forward to as per usual. Roman Reigns then interrupted her as per usual and demanded that he get a match with Strowman later that night rather than have to wait till Fastlane. Steph denies him this and instead The Club of all people come out and set up a handicap match against him.

During this opening segment, which is honestly rather dull, it is interesting to note how much more comfortable Reigns is on the mic compared to a year ago when his match against Triple H at Mania was being built to. Putting him in the ring with Stephanie as he was so often last year at this time may be a coincidence but it serves to create a great contrast between his mic skills from then and now as Reigns showed intensity and believability this monday which was unheard of a year ago.

Overall Score: 3/5

Speaking of Which…

The handicap match which followed was standard enough fare and did what it needed to do: make the Club look dominating while getting the crowd behind Reigns. The crowd got so behind Reigns in fact that there was a moment where a large portion of the crowd was chanting for Reigns. Part of why I think his reaction was so strong on this night specifically is because Reigns was clearly making an effort to sell his injuries more, in turn making him sympathetic and less of a demigod.

Despite winning by DQ after The Club continued to beat Reigns up, Roman got his heat back right away by driving the two away with a chair. Take note Smackdown, this is how you book a handicap match.

Overall Score: 3/5

The Best Worst Segment

Raw continued its trend of bad segments with good elements by having Kofi Kingston fight Bo Dallas in a one on one match that essentially revolved around Ice Cream. In summary, The New Day are basically still in aimless segments since losing the tag belts and Bo Dallas’ character is almost non existent (although he truly looks like he is being groomed to join his brother Bray Wyatt in the Wyatt Family), and yet this segment was still fun due to the absurdity of it all. Bo Dallas stealing the New Day’s blueprints for an Ice Cream Machine(?) while the crowd chanted “We want ice cream” was just an amazing example of the craziness that The New Day can get over and thus a position like this on the card doesn’t really hurt them at all.

Overall Score: 3/5

Reminder that a Cruiserweight Title Match is Coming Up

A short backstage segment followed which featured the two individuals who will be fighting for the Cruiserweight title at Fastlane: Neville and Jack Gallagher. Although the segment clearly existed to simply include some mention of this upcoming match on the show, the fact that these two are arguably the two strongest characters in the division helped to make this brief interaction interesting.

Overall Score: 4/5

Cruiserweight Filler

The aforementioned Gallagher was featured next in a match against Noam Dar that was essentially a squash match with how quick Gallagher went over. Gallagher got a ton of his fun spots in and the segment ended with Neville coming out and eyeing Gallagher down.

Overall Score: 2/5

The Creator and The Destroyer Arrive

Another extremely short segment followed where Samoa Joe and HHH arrived in a limo. Nothing much here but a cool visual.

Overall Score: 5/5

Trolololol

The long awaited debut of “Emmalina” welcomed viewers back from the commercial break and after the former Emma announced she was finally back after 17 weeks(!) of buildup, the reveal turned out to be an apparently giant prank as Emmalina revealed that she is transitioning back to Emma right away.

I popped with a huge laugh when this was revealed and I can’t wait to see what comes next, especially since there was a hint of a sinister tone in Emma’s voice, indicating that there was something more to this still.

Overall Score: 5/5

Typical, but Good Bayley Fare

ANOTHER brief segment follows where Bayley discusses her championship match against Charlotte in the main event and other than showing some real fire there is very little of note here.

Overall Score: 3/5

Flawless Foreshadowing

Next, Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho are seen backstage discussing the upcoming Festival of Friendship before HHH approaches them to speak to Kevin Owens alone, and surprisingly this private conversation is actually seen after the commercial break, with the added mystique of having no audio and a concerned look on Kevin Owens face.

Overall Score: 5/5

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Strowman took on the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry in a match that should’ve been crap but turned into one of the greatest segments of the night. Given the size of these men, the pace was extremely slow but there were some amazing moments, including:

Strowman getting chants, something which I couldn’t imagine a year ago
Mark Henry picking up Strowman for a World’s Strongest Slam
Strowman dropkicking Henry(!!!)
Strowman giving a running powerslam to Henry(!!!!!!)

Reigns then came out as expected and hesitated before getting into the ring (a very nice touch), before getting laid out by Braun Strowman. Strowman is set to take on Big Show next week and if it is anything like this match, I can’t wait.

Overall Score: 5/5

Face vs. Face? Maybe?

Enzo and Cass get into the faces of Cesaro and Sheamus backstage after the mess that transpired last week as they argue over who is the superior team. This was just standard banter that set up Enzo vs. Cesaro later on but the fact that Cesaro and Sheamus were set up as heels here was strange given that they have been paired with Bayley lately and been getting face reactions for quite a while.

Overall Score: 3/5

Samoa Joe (and Michael Cole) Proves He Has What it Takes

Michael Cole interviews Samoa Joe live in a rare sit-down interview next in another incredible segment. The interview boiled down to Joe asserting that he isn’t just another croney of HHH’s who will be betrayed like Orton, Batista, Rollins, etc. (great continuity) and lets loose some amazing lines like “Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim, Reinjure” (in reference to Seth Rollins) and that he is in fact too dangerous of WWE like they feared. The latter line is most interesting as this is such a blurring of real and kayfabe concerns regarding Joe that it goes from being a passive line to being an incorporation of real life opinions which would usually only be discussed on the internet.

Joe has such passion, calmness, and intimidation in his voice that he is already easily one of the best speakers on the main roster. I can’t think of a wrestler whose words I hang on to more than Joe’s at the moment except for possibly The Undertaker.

Michael Cole did a lot to help make this segment better as he genuinely seemed afraid of Joe and came off less as the catchphrase machine he is at the commentary table and more as an actual journalist.

Overall Score: 5/5

Sami Zayn Is Now A Main Event Player?

Sami Zayn and Rusev faced off in an unannounced match that honestly blew me away. Despite this there is little to say other than Zayn sold Rusev’s offense like crazy and even though Zayn won in the end, Rusev still ended up looking great. This says a lot about how great these two men are and even though I wish there was more buildup here, the surprise was kind of nice.

After the match Zayn was interviewed on stage and delivered a great promo where he called out Samoa Joe for a passive comment he had made about not being “another Sami Zayn” in his earlier interview. This led to Joe brutally attacking Zayn out of nowhere with intensity that made it seem that he was genuinely furious and seemingly setting up a fued between them leading into Fastlane.

Considering Joe is basically a main eventer at this point, it is awesome to finally see one of the hardest workers in the company in Sami Zayn finally enter that scene, and against someone who is also a NXT alum. The two didn’t face off much in NXT and thus these two having a proper main event feud is extremely appealing and I expect some incredible matches out of these two.

Overall Score: 5/5

Tozawa Continues to Shine

Cruiserweight action followed in what was largely just a vehicle to get Akira Tozawa more over by beating Ariya Daivari in quick fashion. Tozawa seems more over with the crowd than most Cruiserweights already (except perhaps Jack Gallagher) and a large part of this is due to his energy and his moveset which set him apart from the other Cruiserweights who despite what the division may imply, don’t do that much interesting.

Overall Score: 2/5

The Tomodachi no Matsuri

The incredibly hyped Festival of Friendship between Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens finally arrived next and began in grand fashion as Jericho came out in a gaudy outfit with women at his side before welcoming his best friend on stage. Owens came out looking apprehensive and out of character while Jericho was hamming it up and having the time of his life. This segment was incredibly long (taking up about 30 mins) and thus I will simply list some of my favorite moments of the segment before it reached it’s climax.

Jericho gifting a $7000 sculpture of two people embracing to KO made by the “minimalist, maximalist, artist Ralph Gugenheim”
Jericho gifting KO a painting by the name of “The Creation of Kevin” (a parody of The Creation of Adam)
Jericho introducing “The Illuminati of Illusion”, Frienship the Magician.
Jericho calling out Goldberg only for Attitude Era star Gillberg to come out and get promptly beat up by Kevin Owens
Jericho seemingly shooting on Kevin Owens about how KO has made his last year in the company one of his absolute favorites. There was genuine emotion here that took this segment from silly to genuinely touching and seemingly acted as part of a face turn.

Throughout all of this Kevin Owens has continued to be apprehensive and out of character in a way that brings to mind his discussion with Triple H prior as he is usually so supportive of Jericho. The segment reaches its aforementioned climax when Kevin Owens gives Jericho a gift of his own which turns out to be “The List of KO” with Jericho’s own name on it. Jericho slowly realizes what this means and the way he tells this via face expressions is masterful. Owens subsequently brutalizes Jericho to the point of him requiring an ambulance (in kayfabe).

Not only does this take Owens from a chicken-shit heel to a serious threat whom the audience can truly hate but creates such intrigue regarding the HHH story that it recontextualizes everything that KO and Jericho had done prior. Were their actions disgraceful in Triple H’s eyes and thus he had to bribe Owens to get rid of his BFF begrudgingly? Or was their something else to it? Regardless, this segment is the strongest Raw has had in an extremely long time and exceeded my expectations to an astronomical degree.

Bravo.

Overall Score: 5/5

Palette Cleanser

Well after that I am exhausted.

Enzo and Cesaro faced off and while I’m happy that this match was here to provide a buffer between the Festival and the main event, it was ultimately nothing memorable as Cesaro went over in quick fashion.

Next.

Overall Score: 2/5

TFW you can’t stop texting your ex

Sasha Banks was confronted by Charlotte again this week and the fact that this happened two weeks in a row makes me feel that last week’s interaction was not just a filler segment. This must be building to something which I assume is a Banks heel turn where she sides with Charlotte to get the title back in the end. Either way, this segment was rather bland due to how often we have seen these two together in the past year.

Overall Score: 2/5

No Longer A Novelty

A women’s match main evented Raw for another time in recent memory and other than a comment by Bayley earlier in the show it was no longer treated as a huge deal, which was nice given that it is now almost normal for this to be the case. Ironically, this match was something worth bragging about though as this match was possibly one of the best both of these women have had, and certainly the best Bayley has had so far had on the main roster.

The main narrative of the match was Bayley’s neck being injured on the turnbuckle early on and Charlotte working that in brutal fashion for the rest of the contest. Charlotte largely dominated for the first half of the match (delivering a brutal moonsault off the barrier onto Bayley’s neck in the process) before Bayley came back and began to look good before Dana Brooke came out and interfered on Charlotte’s behalf by costing Bayley a pin. Sasha Banks then came out and evened the score by taking out Dana Brooke and attacking Charlotte and Bayley was finally able to take down the champ for the title.

While the formula of having Charlotte win title matches on PPV and lose them on TV is becoming comical at this point due to long it has been going on, this was still a phenomenal moment for Bayley and a much better match than these two’s match at the Rumble when considered in a bubble. I almost thought we were gonna see a Sasha Banks heel turn given recent rumors and segments that have been on Raw over the past few weeks but regardless this was still a wonderful way to end the best Raw in a long time

Overall Score 5/5

Average Score: 4/5

Raw overall hit it out of the park this week. The pros far outweighed the cons with multiple segments which were perfect for all intents and purposes. The Road to WrestleMania is looking extremely bright and here is hoping that they can keep this momentum while going forward. Smackdown has their work cut out for them this week.

I realize that this post was extremely long and I’m going to look into strategies for future posts if the episode being reviewed is as packed as this one.

Til next time,

Lucas.

A Hot Crowd Makes For A Hot Segment

Smackdown kicked off this week with Daniel Bryan returning to the same arena he announced his retirement in almost a year ago and delivering an emotional promo before being interrupted by The Miz. It is still amazing how Bryan is probably the most over guy in the company (except for maybe Goldberg) and when this was combined with a hometown crowd, the energy in this segment was palpable. I was foolishly hoping that Bryan would announce he’d fight one more match at Mania against Miz once he interrupted him as I can’t see any other payoff here to their feud but regardless, Miz and Daniel Bryan going at it is still entertaining even if I feel like the Miz is slightly buried every time Bryan suggests he can’t wrestle.

Baron Corbin, Dean Ambrose, and Aj Styles all subsequently enter one by one and the four Superstars all banter while Daniel Bryan gets in an occasional line of his own. All five men here really shine and even if for a little, you forget how apparent the small size of the Smackdown roster has become in the past few months. The best moment here came from Aj Styles getting so much love from the crowd that he had to address them and in doing so, came off as flustered and made the crowd love him more. This man is a heel solely by necessity and the sooner he can embrace the face role, the better.

This gathering eventually led to the match which would follow, a Fatal Four Way between the four competitors.

Overall Score: 5/5

Baron Corbin’s Surprising Win

This was a really fun match with plenty of spots that made the participants look good. I especially enjoyed when The Miz, Ambrose, and Styles all attempted quick pins in a sequence. Corbin surprisingly got the win after delivering The End of Days on Styles and pinning him clean. Corbin is now firmly a serious threat of main event caliber and his rise in skill in the past year make this a warranted transition out of the mid-card. Hopefully, the Elimination Chamber will do what it should on Sunday and expand on a match like this and steal the show.

Overall Score: 5/5

Luke Harper Finally Realizes His Potential?

I’ve asserted for a while now that Luke Harper is far more talented than people give him credit and this stellar promo further helped my case. Illuminated solely by a hanging light in traditional fashion, Harper called out Orton for being a liar and stealing his family from him with both intensity and calmness. This pseudo sibling rivalry is really compelling stuff and easily the most well executed long running story in WWE right now, even if the Wyatts held the tag belts for far too short of a time, making the storyline feel a bit rushed. Harper’s comment about not wanting to simply cut the head off the Viper but make him suffer was a great way of incorporating darkness without pushing for a TV-14 rating. Although I can’t quite see Harper as a singles star yet due to how tethered he is to Bray Wyatt, I’m very excited to see where this storyline goes next and happy to see Harper taking on Orton this Sunday.

Overall Score: 5/5

And Now For Something Completely Different…

Whereas everything up until this point has been compelling, intense, and well written, this is where the show begins to fall apart slightly. Tom Phillips (the best commentator on Smackdown who isn’t a commentator for some reason) interviews Natalya and Nikki Bella simultaneously over satellite due to the intensity of their feud and it quickly dissolves into the same old garbage these two have been saying for weeks. I genuinely appreciate how they are continuously finding new ways to get these two to insult each other (interviews, hijacked microphones, etc.) but the fact that this whole feud is just over Natalya accusing Nikki Bella of succeeding based on her looks and dating John Cena is so steeped in the trends of the old way women were treated in WWE that it is hard to take this seriously. I don’t know if the whole feud is supposed to allow Nikki Bella to prove what WWE perceives as common criticisms against her wrong but if anything it just makes me dislike both these characters and wish that Natalya’s talents were being used somewhere worthwhile for once.

Overall Score: 1/5

The Downward Spiral Continues

Next, Apollo Crews takes on Dolph Ziggler to settle their problems which arose since Ziggler became heel a few weeks back. Crews rolls up Ziggler for the win in barely 2 minutes and Ziggler begins beating Crews up with a chair to get his heat back before Kalisto comes out to save the walking smile machine that is Apollo Crews. None of these characters are particularly interesting with Dolph being the most compelling only because he recently turned heel. The segment ends with Ziggler standing tall and the crowd literally chanting for him to continue beating up Crews (the face here). I understand the need for a mid-card feud heading into Elimination Chamber but that doesn’t excuse the lack of driving forces here beyond “Face helping out heel cause he’s mad”

Overall Score: 2/5

Nobody Wins

As Ziggler goes backstage, Daniel Bryan confronts him and tries to figure out what the hell he is doing. Ziggler asserts he could take on both Crew and Kalisto at the same time and Bryan takes him at his word and makes that exact match for Elimination Chamber. I have a huge problem with this match which others have already expressed online themselves: nobody wins in this match. If Dolph ends up winning, Kalisto and Crews are gonna look incredibly weak but if Kalisto and Crews win they aren’t gonna look special themselves cause they just beat a man two to one. Handicap matches should be made between competitors that are overwhelming forces and Dolph is not that, especially when he just lost to Crews with a rollup.

Overall Score: 2/5

An Uphill Battle

At this point in Smackdown, the show has gone from extremely strong to incredibly poor and a contract signing isn’t usually the greatest segment thus I had little hope in this dual contract signing. I was happy to be proven wrong. Mickie James and Alexa Bliss come out first before Becky Lynch and Naomi follow to sign contracts for their respective matches on Sunday. Every woman gets a chance to shine here and for a bit, I forgot about the terrible woman’s segment prior. James resenting Lynch for seemingly forgetting her legacy and Bliss intentionally bringing up how irrelevant Naomi has been for months only to be shut down right away by Naomi clearly making the most of her first time in the title picture in a long time and subsequently kicking her in the head. Although Lynch and Naomi stood tall here, I’m unsure whether they will win on Sunday or not as Smackdown is apt to make surprising calls. James however, needs a win as she has already lost twice (in tag matches though, not eating the pin) and needs to make an impression in this division as she hasn’t done so already since debuting a few weeks back.

Overall Score: 4/5

Speaking of Smackdown Surprises…

A 6-man tag match follows to hype up the tag title match this Sunday and it was typical fare. I was happy to see the oft forgotten Vaudevillains get some spotlight and the real shocker came from Viktor of The Ascension getting the win by pinning the “Man Beast” Rhyno. Considering the Ascension were once the most dominant team in NXT and have languished on the main roster, here is hoping they are on their way to becoming a threat again as I don’t think they are totally a lost cause yet.

Overall Score: 3/5

Cena vs. Orton Part XXII

John Cena took on Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton in what was their 22nd televised singles match in 15 years. As much as WWE wants to push that these two had a rivalry on par with Hogan and Savage, the WWE universe has clearly seen this matchup enough but this isn’t to say this match wasn’t interesting. The added Wyatt family dynamic helped and the fact that I hadn’t seen these two face off in more than 10 years kept me interested and despite Cena getting the win, the way it happened was mired in enough interference (bordering on being overbooked) that it’s hard to say that Orton didn’t still come out looking good. It doesn’t hurt that Orton and Cena’s finishers are some of the most iconic in the company right now and this match had plenty of those.

Overall Score: 4/5

Average Total Score: 3/5

It’s a shame that despite beginning and ending with stellar segments, Smackdown was still just an average show given the crap in the middle. In addition, while Elimination Chamber will have some interesting matches, there really should’ve been more buildup than what we have gotten but I guess that’s the downfall of this new PPV model.

Winner this week: Monday Night Raw

Despite both shows tying this week in terms of average total score, I’m gonna say that Raw won as although there were less 5/5 segments total, at least the show was of a consistently good quality. Smackdown could have had a hell of a show on their hands but got bogged down in a terrible, out of date women segment and a boring mid card feud.

Til next time,

Lucas

Introducing Samoa Joe, The Destroyer

The show properly began with Stephanie and Mick Foley formally introducing Samoa Joe after his attack on Seth Rollins last week, and having him officially sign a Raw contract. The tension between Stephanie and Foley before Joe came out allowed Foley to show some more great character work but the fact that moments like this between the two are seemingly leading to nothing and solely exist to have Stephanie always have someone to emasculate dulls this intrigue. Regardless, Joe immediately made an impact with his incredible mic skills and his menacing appearance; even if you never saw him in NXT, it is apparent right away that Joe is a big time player, especially when he attracts the attention of Roman Reigns right away. Reigns has clearly been growing more comfortable on the mic and although he isn’t nearly at Joe’s level, his assertion that Joe is now in his yard immediately puts Joe in the main event scene where he belongs. Mick Foley steps in between the two and sets up a huge main event between them, but the fact that this is a PPV level match in theory really foreshadows that it won’t be of PPV level quality in reality as with the small main event scene, this match will clearly headline an actual PPV before long.

Overall Score: 4/5

Bayley Takes a Step Backwards

Next up, Bayley took on Nia Jax in a match that again exposed how the brand split really screwed the women’s division. At this point, Bayley and Jax have taken each other on multiple times on both the main roster and in NXT and this matchup appears again tonight but it’s just hard to care when this match has been seen so much in the past year. It was a decent enough match with Jax going over but I’d rather see the two do something with Charlotte and Sasha respectively instead of returning to the Bayley vs. Jax well so soon.

Also: are they EVER going to mention how Bayley beat Jax when they were in NXT?

Overall Score: 3/5

Is it Mid-2016 Again?

Braun Strowman squashed four jobbers in a handicap match next and while entertaining (especially when one made the decision to simply run away and not return), Strowman is clearly past the point of needing matches like this to establish that he is a monster like he did after the draft and his call for greater opposition from Foley after the match really reinforces how stale this particular segment is.

Braun subsequently storms backstage and Foley grants him his wish by setting up a match between Reigns and Strowman at Fastlane. I popped off because I will be there for this match but the fact that Reigns is clearly set to face Undertaker at ‘Mania and is apparently also involved with Samoa Joe for the time being, and thus this match seems like the lowest priority. Does Reigns really need 3 simultaneously feuds building?

Overall Score: 3/5

Akira Tozawa: 205 Live’s Saving Grace?

Cruiserweight Akira Tozawa debuted on Raw next against the bland Drew Gulak and although it was clear that Tozawa was gonna win and establish himself, his offense was risky enough and got enough of the crowd involved that some of the magic from the Cruiserweight Classic finally reappeared after months of staleness. Hopefully Tozawa will be the shot in the arm this division needs.

Overall Score: 3/5

A Massive Main Event is Confirmed

Best friends Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho emerge and what follows is initially a typical segment for the two, albeit a very entertaining one. Kevin Owens asserts that he is continually proving people wrong and Jericho puts Tom Brady on The List Of Jericho in what is admittedly a great pop-culture reference. Jericho also teases a WrestleMania match between the two again before being once again shot down by KO. I really wish the tension between these two wouldn’t have already reached a climax before being derided as a ruse as it makes these teases of tension much less exciting than they should be.

The segment truly catches steam when Goldberg unexpectedly comes out and accepts Brock Lesnar’s WrestleMania challenge before challenging Kevin Owens for the title at Fastlane, which Jericho accepts on his behalf. All three men exhibit great mic work and Goldberg proves that he still has it after his drawn out promo a few weeks ago where his forehead was bleeding. Bias aside because I will be at Fastlane, this match really excites me. It is really exciting to see how Kevin Owens will stack up against arguably his toughest opponent to date and the Universal title will really add a lot to the Goldberg/Lesnar match at Mania. I’m also really ready for Kevin Owens’ lackluster title run to end.

Kevin Owens subsequently freaks out at Jericho backstage and once again tension is brushed away to seemingly push off the inevitable match between these two at WrestleMania.

Overall Score: 4/5

Enzo & Cass Remember There are Tag Titles

To be honest, I barely paid attention to The Club taking on Sheamus and Cesaro here given the sheer amount of times we have seen them fight recently. Despite this, it was interesting to see that Enzo and Cass are seemingly caring about the tag belts for the first time in a long time considering this was something that heavily drove them at the tail end of their NXT run. Hopefully they will spice up this division now that their terrible feud with Rusev and Jinder Mahal is over.

Overall Score: 2/5

Sami Zayn Continues to Look Strong

This match was a great match despite the dirty finish. Both men looked phenomenal and it seemed at times that Zayn may genuinely win the US title in this match for the belt between Jericho and himself. Not much to say other than I hope Zayn gets the belt before Mania as the Jericho/Owens program doesn’t need it.

Overall Score: 4/5

Remember When the Women’s Division was Incredible?

Charlotte confronts Sasha banks backstage (when you’d think it would be Jax confronting Sasha) and reminds her how she injured her knee. Seeing these two together makes me miss the magic they made last year before their feud was arbitrarily ended at Roadblock. Unless this is building to a Sasha heel turn, I really can’t see a point to this segment other than to give Charlotte some screen time.

Overall Score: 2/5

More Like SNOOZERweight Division

Austin Aries begins this segment by interviewing Neville and reminding everyone of what the cruiserweight division could be if those two were in a feud and this eventually leads to the five cruiserweights who will fight for No. 1 contendership on 205 Live coming out and setting up yet another 6 man tag match where no one really shines. At least Noam Dar yelling for Neville to come back after he abandoned his team was pretty funny.

Overall Score: 3/5

Just Kiss Already

In order to prove that he truly has Kevin Owen’s back, Jericho announces to him that next week on Raw a “Festival of Friendship” will be held to celebrate the bromance between the two. If this were any other two Superstars, I would loathe the idea but I feel these two will making something great of this.

Overall Score: 4/5

Samoa Joe Gives the Big Dog a Run for his Money

As Roman Reigns makes his entrance for his match against Samoa Joe, Joe attacks him from behind in a vicious manner and looks dominant as hell. Joe makes Reigns looks the weakest he has in months and after the bell finally rings, Joe displays what makes him the unique athlete he is with both his speed and power. I’ve heard some complaints that Roman still looked strong after all he took but Joe himself took two Superman punches and still managed to stay alive. My only grievance is with the fact that Joe won after a distraction from Strowman took Reigns away from the fight. I understand the need to build that match for Fastlane, but in doing it this way makes Joe look somewhat weak for not taking Reigns out himself. Hopefully this will be addressed next week.

Strowman destroying Reigns itself however was a great moment even if it was strange that Joe just left after winning, despite being the focus of the episode. Strowman has grown in leaps and bounds since being in the Wyatt family and is truly coming into his own. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes him to get a world title.

On a side note, Joe didn’t take Reigns out with a Muscle Buster, making me wonder if the move that ended Tyson Kidd’s career is banned by Vince already on the main roster or if they are saving it like they did AJ Styles’ Styles Clash.

Overall Score: 4/5

Average Total Score: 3/5

Raw this week was overall a good 3 hour show that could have been an outstanding 2 hour show if the fat was trimmed. Fastlane is shaping up to be a strong B Pay-Per-View and with more time to build to it than Smackdown’s Elimination Chamber (Which only has two weeks of buildup!), it’ll be really interesting to see what happens in the upcoming weeks and what gets added to the card.

Til next time,

Lucas