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Kates                                      Name: Angelic Thompson November 2, 2015

 

Exercise 7: Writing for Broadcast (50 points)

 

Remember these key concepts for broadcast writing, from the PowerPoint and your text:

 

• Use a conversational tone, with clear, direct sentences and words of one or two syllables, where possible.
• Often, you can use present or present-perfect tense to give a sense of immediacy.
• Keep sentences short – preferably under 20 words.
• Convey one main idea per sentence.
• AP style is not needed. Write your script so it can be read easily. Spell out titles such as Governor and spell out numbers such as nine thousand. Terms that are pronounced one letter at a time, such as N-P-R, T-V or H-I-V, should be hyphenated for clarity.
• The subject and verb of a sentence should be close together.
• Write in the active voice, not the passive. Use parts of speech in the order in which a 2-year-old talks: subject, verb, direct object (“Daddy throw the ball”).
• Often, a “set-up” or “throwaway” lede will set the stage and invite listeners into a story.
• Put attribution at the beginning of sentences, not at the end as with print.
• Don’t use numbers to excess. When you use numbers, try to round them off.

 

Part I (20 points)

 

Read this partial transcript of the hourly news summary from National Public Radio. Ten basics of good broadcast writing (“Use a conversational tone,” etc.) are listed in the bullet points above. You’ll find that all 10 of them (yes, all 10) are employed at various points in the transcript below. Highlight and label a passage that illustrates each of the 10 principles. For example, if a news anchor says, “The White House says it’s keeping the door open on a bipartisan plan to cut taxes,” that would illustrate the principle of using a conversational tone.

 

CRAIG WINDHAM: From N-P-R News in Washington, I’m Craig Windham.

 

The White House says the U.S. is firmly committed to the defense of South Korea, and is strongly condemning North Korea’s artillery attack on the South today on an island there. (1. Illustrating the principle of using conversational tone).The barrage of shells killed two South Korean marines and injured more than a dozen others. Michael Ri reports from Seoul that the attack triggered an hour-long exchange of artillery fire between North and South Korea.

 

MICHAEL RI:  The South had been conducting drills this week around the island, which sits near the tense western sea border between the two countries. (7.Write in the active voice, not the passive)  South Korea’s Foreign Ministry has called the attack a clear provocation that violates multiple agreements. The North claims the South fired first in the incident, and in typical fashion has warned of more retaliation if provoked. For N-P-R News (5. AP style is not needed, hyphenate when possible), I’m Michael Ri in Seoul.

 

CRAIG WINDHAM: The Commerce Department is revising upward its estimate of the annual pace of growth in the U.S. economy in the third quarter, from two percent up to two-and-a-half percent. (2.you can use present or present-perfect tense to give a sense of immediacy) One reason: More consumers are spending for cars and other big-ticket items. Still, many economists say the economy would have to be growing twice that fast to bring down the unemployment rate. Another report out today finds that sales of previously owned homes declined slightly in October.

 

New research is showing that talking a single pill containing anti-H-I-V drugs (5. AP style is not needed, hyphenate when possible) can reduce the risk of contracting the virus by an average of forty-four percent, and more than seventy percent for patients who took most of their pills. The study involved more than twenty-five hundred high-risk gay men. (10. Don’t use numbers to excess. When you use numbers, try to round them off)  N-P-R’s (5) Richard Knox says a new United Nations report finds that thirty-three and a half million people worldwide are H-I-V- (5) positive.

 

RICHARD KNOX: The AIDS pandemic peaked in 1999. (4. Convey one main idea per sentence). Since then, widespread condom use and education have cut new infections by almost a fifth. The number of people dying of AIDS is also a fifth lower than in 2004, mostly because millions of people around the world are getting anti-viral drugs. But two-thirds of the people who need AIDS drugs still can’t get them. Richard Knox, N-P-R News (5).

 

CRAIG WINDHAM: A new survey finds that nearly two-thirds of Americans are supportive of the full-body screenings being used at the nation’s airports.  (6.The subject and verb of a sentence should be close together) Critics have proposed a boycott of the body scanners for Wednesday, which will be one of the busiest travel days of the year. That would require more travelers to undergo pat-down searches.

 

In France, members of several trade unions are back on the streets today to protest changes in that country’s pension law. Eleanor Beardsley reports from Paris that union leaders are pressing on with their fight. (3. Keep sentences short – preferably under 20 words)

• ELEANOR BEARDSLEY: Five out of eight French unions have called for a continuation of the social protest against the new retirement law. The law raises the minimum retirement age from sixty to sixty-two, and the full retirement age from sixty-five to sixty-seven. (10.Don’t use numbers to excess. When you use numbers, try to round them off.) The hard-line unions say they want big changes in the law, which they say unfairly puts the burden on workers. They’re marching in cities across France in some two hundred planned demonstrations. No disruptions in public services are expected. For N-P-R News (5), I’m Eleanor Beardsley in Paris.

 

CRAIG WINDHAM: Winter has come early to parts of the American West. (8. Often, a “set-up” or “throwaway” lede will set the stage and invite listeners into a story.) Most of eastern Washington state is bracing for blizzard conditions today as a massive storm system rolls through the region. Hazardous driving conditions are expected across most of the state.

 

Animal welfare groups are looking for people to adopt about a thousand rats that were rescued from a home featured on the reality T-V show “The Hoarders.” Alexis Raymond from the group United Animal Nations says the rats are currently being pampered in a pet shop in San Jose, California. (9. Put attribution at the beginning of sentences, not at the end as with print)

 

I’m Craig Windham, N-P-R News, in Washington.

Part II (3 points each, total 30 points)

 

Rewrite each sentence in broadcast style, as directed.

 

Sentence 1. Rewrite for broadcast to reflect the following principle: Use a conversational tone, with clear, direct sentences and words of one or two syllables, where possible. Use present tense.

 

The mayor indicated that the city would have to revise its spending upward substantially for purposes of sidewalk construction.

The mayor indicated the city would revise the budget because of sidewalk construction.

 

Sentence 2. Rewrite for broadcast using present or present-perfect tense to give a sense of immediacy. Split it into two sentences.

 

White House sources said today that President Barack Obama had rejected a Republican plan to cut the budget deficit, believing it places too great a burden on the nation’s poor.

President Obama has rejected the Republican plan to cut the budget deficit. He believes it places too great a burden on the nation’s poor.

 

Sentence 3. Rewrite for broadcast and split into two sentences to reflect the principle that sentences should be kept short – preferably under 20 words. You can stick with past tense here.

 

A Union Pacific freight train carrying nitric acid derailed today near Lincoln, Nebraska, forcing the evacuation of two hundred homes and sending thirty people to a hospital for treatment of respiratory ailments.

A Union Pacific freight train carrying nitric acid derailed today near Lincoln, Nebraska. It forced evacuation of two hundred homes and sent thirty people to hospital for treatment of respiratory ailments.

 

Sentence 4. Rewrite for broadcast as two or three sentences, to convey one main idea per sentence.

 

The Air Force budget, which was unveiled today at the Pentagon, would close two air bases in Asia but also would spend thirty-three billion dollars on a new missile-defense, an item that immediately drew a veto threat from President Barack Obama.

The Air Force budget was unveiled today at the Pentagon. It would close two air bases in Asia. It also would spend thirty-three billion dollars on a new missile defense that President Obama threatened to veto on.

 

 

Sentence 5. Rewrite for broadcast to reflect the following principle: Write your script so it can be read easily. Spell out titles such as Governor and spell out numbers such as nine thousand.

 

Gov. Frank Fitzhugh today endorsed Sen. Scott Smith’s idea to shut down the state veterinary clinic, a move that would save $980,000 a year.

Governor Frank Fitzhugh today endorsed Senator Scott Smith’s idea to shut down the state veterinary clinic, a move that would save nine thousand eight hundred dollars a year.

 

Sentence 6. Rewrite for broadcast, in two or three sentences, to reflect this principle: The subject and verb of a sentence should be close together. (Note: Because you’re writing about history here, you’ll stay with the past tense.)

 

Ronald Reagan, who began his political career as the leader of the Hollywood film actors’ union, changed his tune when he became president, saying that unions hurt the productivity of American businesses.

Ronald Regan began his political career as leader of the Hollywood film actors’ union. When he became president he changed his tune. Unions hurt the productivity of American businesses.

 

 

 

 

 

Sentence 7: Rewrite for broadcast using the active voice, not the passive.

 

The bill raising the minimum wage was passed by Congress and sent to the president.

Congress passed the rise of minimum wage bill to the president.

 

 

Sentence 8: Rewrite for broadcast in two or three sentences, using a “set-up” or “throwaway” lede.

 

Former Chicago Mayor Rod Blagojevich, who resigned in a corruption scandal, will host a new reality T-V show called “The World’s Sleaziest People.”

Politicians are known to have scandals while in office. Former Chicago Mayor Rod Blagojevich is a host of a new reality T-V show called “The World’s Sleaziest People”.

 

Sentence 9: Rewrite for broadcast to put attribution at the beginning of the sentence, not at the end.

 

Nine pounds of cocaine were seized in the raid, and six people were arrested, police said.

Police said they arrested six people during a raid on nine pounds of cocaine.

 

Sentence 10: Rewrite these two sentences for broadcast to reflect this principle: Don’t use numbers to excess. When you use numbers, try to round them off.

 

The mayor wants to put 1,110 police officers on the streets of Omaha, an increase from 988 this year. The plan would cost an extra $4,886,772 in its first year, budget analysts say.

The mayor wants to put about one thousand two hundred police officers on the streets of Omaha, an increase from about thousand this year. The pan would cost about five million dollars in its first year, budget analysts say.

 

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