I’ll come clean, this is not a new book. However, it is one that will serve you immensely for the rest of your life.
We have the original edition (2002) online and the 2nd edition (2012) in print. I’ve read the 2nd edition and it has deeply influenced me. Whether you’re talking issues of discrimination, harassment, finances, religion, vacation destinations, or almost any other topic where there is heartfelt disagreement, this book will serve you well. It is filled with interpersonal communication strategies for improving discussions and relations with others, so that everyone can leave feeling like they’ve been heard and understood. The book flows through parts of conversations and gives you tips for dealing with different situations that might arise. To summarize the chapter titles, in a conversation you should focus on what you really want; identify when safety is at risk; make it a safe space; stay in dialogue when you’re angry, scared, or hurt; speak persuasively, not abrasively; listen carefully, and finally move to action and results. It sounds like a lot, but Patterson packs it all in there in an easily accessible format. The book includes links to useful videos (2nd edition only, first hand accounts, and case studies. I wholeheartedly recommend that you read it.