Brian Michael

I know the secret to winning arm wrestling every time. First, position your arm as normal. Grasp your opponent’s hand. Wait for the countdown. Three. Two. One. Go! Now, this next part is the most important: scream as loud as you can.

More often than not, this will confuse your opponent and they’ll let their guard down. This will give you an opportunity to quickly push over their arm and win.

I was an expert with this tactic. I say “was” because one moment changed my arm wrestling career forever. That moment went something like this…

September 5, 2024. First Thursday of the semester. I was hanging out with a couple of my buddies. One of those buddies was a retired pro wrestler, with arms the size of boulders. I decided to challenge him to an arm wrestling match. Despite my fragile figure, he accepted.

I really thought we had a whole “David and Goliath” situation going on. Smug with my strategy, the countdown began. Three. Two. One. Go! Immediately, I yelled as loud as I could. Unfortunately, my opponent may not have been human as he did not flinch as I struggled. He moved his arm slightly, and a loud pop was heard. Suddenly, I was unable to move my limp arm.

Life was a struggle after that moment. My right arm was out of commission. As a result, my right hand couldn’t write, couldn’t type- how was I supposed to make a new blog post??? One never knows true embarrassment until having to explain they broke their arm due to arm wrestling. “You should see the other guy” only goes so far.

I now have my right arm and hand back, but I am still recovering. I’d just like to leave with a bit of a call-to-action: THERE IS NO TRICK TO WINNING ARM WRESTLING EVERY TIME!!!