Finally! We’ve reached the last game of the preseason! Football starts meaning something next week!!!

In between preseason Week 3 and Week 4, there were – gasp – roster moves! Perhaps the most surprising was the release of both punters, free agent Peter Mortell and veteran Tim Masthay, and the signing of Jacob Schum. People were… surprised, to say the least.

Same.

The Packers took on the Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium for their preseason finale. And… look, I apologize in advance, because jeez, was this a crappy game to watch. Sure, it proved some points about position battles, but from a casual viewer’s standpoint… wow, was it boring.

The Packers only scored one touchdown, a five-yard pass to tight end Jared Cook from “Average” Joe Callahan. The Chiefs scored two TDs and a field goal. The rest of the game was quite literally all punts or turnovers on downs. So… I guess that gave us a chance to see Schum in action?

Schum had eight punts in the game, averaging 45.5 yards per punt with a long of 57 yards. Needless to say, I forgot about Masthay pretty quick. Schum hype train!

Rookie linebacker Kyler Fackrell was insane in this game, registering ten total tackles, six of which were for losses of yardage. That brought my hopes up for this defense.

Lastly, the wide receiver battle raged on. I love looking back at the comments about this, because it differs so much from what we ended up having at the end of the season. Exhibit A:

(muffled laughter) Oh man, remember when we still had undying faith in Abbrederis, even after all he did was catch a 40-yard pass in the preseason? And when Ty Montgomery was still a WR?! Good times…

Next week, we play real football! Off to Jacksonville!

The Packers traveled to San Francisco for Week 3 to face the 49ers in Week 3. The Niners were coming off of a mediocre 2016 season. NFL Twitter was reeling over the impending Kaepernick/Gabbert QB controversy, and new head coach Chip Kelly was determined to make this upcoming season work. (Spoiler alert: It didn’t. Dear lord, it didn’t.) So, like any rational Packer fan, I became deeply worried about the future of this team when our first drive was riddled with penalties, and the Niners ended up scoring first.

However, Aaron Rodgers, making his only preseason appearance, threw a six-yard touchdown to Randall Cobb on the next drive. Oh, and a few plays earlier, Rodgers did that one thing we all love…


Dude’s got eyes in the back of his damn head, swear to God.

The next touchdown pass came from third-stringer Joe Callahan, a diving 18-yarder to fan favorite Jared Abbrederis.

Abby dives for the TD! (Photo courtesy Evan Siegle)

San Francisco answered with a field goal, making the score 14-10. But then some freaking MAGIC happened.

Yeah, now the Joe Callahan hype train has left the station, too. The kid loves rolling out, and he made a couple of straight up absurd throws. The game action largely ended when Marwin Evans intercepted a pass meant for the 49ers’ DiAndre Campbell, and the Packers won this one 21-10.

Some of my personal thoughts on this game? I was completely sold on Jared Cook after this game. He made a couple of great receptions that dispelled the rumors from other teams that he had stone hands. Brandon Burks also made a case for RB3 with his touchdown. On the defensive side of things, Marwin Evans looked great at safety, and the rookie D-linemen were also piquing my interest all night.

So all in all, another successful night. Next game we go visit the Chiefs!

On we roll in our four-week journey of quasi-football! Week 2 of the preseason brought the Oakland Raiders to Titletown, and the Packers were ready to take them on. So ready, in fact, that running back Eddie Lacy had an explosive 20-yard run on the first drive of the game.

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Later on that same drive, Lacy dove over the plane for a one-yard touchdown. That offseason P90X seemed like it was doing its job wonderfully.

Shortly after that, we had a classic Packers move:

In the second quarter, Packers second-string QB Brett Hundley was sidelined by an ankle injury, which caused the Internet at large to jump to conclusions/immediately become anxious about his safety. Luckily, “Average” Joe Callahan finished out the game, going 9/17 for 65 yards.

After a field goal from Oakland’s Sebastian “Seabass” Janikowski and a long streak of punts from both teams, a touchdown came for the Packers, in the form of a 10-yard run from John Crockett. This drive included five touches for Crockett, and his TD run was explosive.

A field goal from Mason Crosby and a Raiders field goal from Janikowski brought the score up to 17-6, Packers. Then, out of nowhere, rookie Josh Hawkins picked off Raiders QB Connor Cook and returned it 47 yards before being downed. There was one more field goal from Crosby, and a Raiders TD off of a blocked punt near the end of the fourth quarter, but the Packers came out on top 20-12 over the Raiders.

There were some little things that stood out to me in this game. Firstly, Joe Callahan really did remind me of Brett Favre in this game – lots of scrambling around in the pocket trying to find a man.

Linebacker Blake Martinez also looked seriously impressive to me as well. He had five total tackles, and was generally pretty successful at stopping the run. I was 100% on the Martinez hype train.

Lastly, rookie O-lineman Jason Spriggs kept getting mauled by… Khalil Mack? It still baffles me why the Raiders left their starters in for so long, especially when Spriggs kept getting murdered by Mack. Either way, it was evident to me that Spriggs would need a lot of work to step his game up.

Next week, the Packers take a jaunt out to San Fran to battle the 49ers, the one team that, once the regular season came, I ended up completely forgetting existed. Whoops.

Ah, yes… week 1 of the preseason. After getting blue-balled by a truly stupid Hall of Fame Game field fiasco involving congealed field paint, Packer fans finally rejoiced at getting something mildly resembling football back.

And boy, did it mildly resemble football! The Packers played the Cleveland Browns, and with third- and fourth- string players at the helm, it was an interesting one. Cleveland jumped out to an early lead with… a safety? All righty, then. The Packers bit back in no time with a 54-yard field goal by Mason Crosby.

(Me too, James. Me too.)

After a not-particularly-noteworthy punt fest between the teams, third-string quarterback Joe Callahan spearheaded one hell of a two-minute drive, pitching a two-yard pass to running back John Crockett for the touchdown.

In the second half, everything seemed to be going smoothly – wait, another safety, this time from Cleveland? What? I, personally, became quite confused.

Well, that’s out of the ordinary. Anyway. The next Packers drive ended in a punt. But this… this was no ordinary punt. Free agent punter Peter Mortell booted an impressive 62-yarder. It was very well-covered by Green Bay’s special teams, and downed at Cleveland’s 18. The Mortell hype train roared to life.

The game neared its end. Cleveland had the ball. The Cleveland Browns QB Roulette had Cody Kessler at his own 9-yard line, rolling out, trying to find a man… and DOWN HE WENT! When’s the last time you saw three safeties in one game?!

The Packers overtook the Browns 17-11. Even though I joke that this wasn’t “real football”, it did actually give me some insight on the up-and-coming players on the roster. Joe Callahan threw for 124 yards and one TD, and had many people saying he looked like Aaron Rodgers himself. Receivers and backs like Ty Montgomery, Jared Abbrederis, and Geronimo Allison all looked impressive to me as well. Offseason catch Jared Cook also had two receptions for eight yards, which got me on the Jared Cook hype train hardcore. Peter Mortell’s 62-yard punt had fans calling for then-starting punter Tim Masthay’s job.

Shake-ups were on the line for this Green Bay Packers team, and Week 1 of the preseason showed me that the upcoming season would be a fun ride.