With just three weeks until graduation I am spending most of my free time trying to keep up with the constant flow of homework. I’ve also been spending time working on resumes and looking for jobs, which is not as easy as it sounds considering my Rockford has an unemployment rate of about 20%.

I’m also looking forward to all the fun things I have planned for the summer and the rest of this year. We are going to Tennessee in July for my sister’s wedding, and hopefully up north once or twice for some fishing. In October my best friend is getting married and we are attempting to find tickets to Florida in October for my nephews seventh birthday.

Being a mom and a wife has certainly changed me. I am a much stronger person than I thought I was, and have gone so much further than many people thought I could. Being a mother has taught me so many different things, especially how to truly put other people before myself and to love unconditionally.

Even though this past year has not always been easy it has been the people in my life that have made the tough times easier. Through all the fights about strawberries and debates over birthday decorations, I think I have learned a great deal about what being a wife, mother, and a family means. It means that you take the good times when they come and lean on each other in the bad times. I don’t know what sort of times are in my future, but I am sure that I will get through them and come out on the other side.

I’m about to be a college graduate and working mother. It’s a big change from where I have been but I think that I am ready. Alex is still working and is always there when I need him. Dakota is now finally walking and growing every day.

Dakota

I was looking back at old pictures the other day and I was amazed at how much everything has changed. I guess whoever said that having a baby changes everything was right. What amazed me the most though was how I can’t imagine my life being any different than it is now. I can’t imagine not having Dakota in my life, or not being married. My life is not always easy, but I love it just the way it is and I wouldn’t change a thing.

The day finally came. It was actually a bit anticlimactic after the weeks of waiting leading up to that moment. My sister and I were playing with Dakota on a Wednesday afternoon when it happened. Dakota was standing next to the couch where I was sitting and my sister reached out and offered her a pacifier. There was no time to think, no time to run for the video camera or to snap a picture. We watched in awe as first one foot, then the other lifted from the ground and inched foreward. In all it was about 3 or 4 small steps, bringing her closer to the desired object bby no more than a foot. Gravity then won out and she plopped to a sitting position on the floor.

The crowd went wild. My sister and I jumped up and danced wildly around the living room, causing a few confused looks from Dakota who joined us in our celebration by clapping her hands together and laughing. Of course, she had no idea what the celebration was about, or what an accomplishment she had made. I immediately reached for my cell phone and called Alex at work, something only done for emergencies. When he heard the news, Alex admitted to tearing up. We couldn’t talk long, but it wasn’t hard to figure out that he was ecstatic. Over the next couple hours I was flooded by text messages, responding to my announcement of the happy news.

I coulnd’t believe that I had a walker on my hands. It seemed like not long ago she wasn’t even able to hold her own head up, and now she was moving around the house on her own power. I have to admit that I was less emotional about her first steps than I had imagined I would be, but I blame it on the shock. We spent the rest of the night cajoling Dakota for an encore, which didn’t happen until a couple hours later when Alex returned from work. Again she had an audience, Alex and my mother in law added to my sister and I. This time it was only 2 small steps, but an incredible feat nonetheless.

The rest of the week and weekend, Dakota continued to take small clusters of independant steps. Along with those steps came accidents. Unsteady on her sewly found legs, Dakota suffered a few nasty falls, resulting in bruises and bloody mouths. After her third such fall, she pretty much stopped taking steps. I think that she was afraid of hurting herself more. Alex grew impatient, wanting her to walk all over the house. He started trying to trick her into walking, placing objects purposefully out of her reach. His deviousness was to on avail. Stubborn as usual, Dakota would have nothing to do with walking. After an almost two week hiatus from walking, she has once again started taking the occassional timid step. I guess it goes to show that some things have to happen on their own.

There are a ton of things in life that no one tells you about. No one tells you that once you buy a house you never stop spending money, or that once you have kids you live in the doctor’s office. I’ve recently learned the latter. About six weeks ago Dakota started getting really grumpy and started showing signs of a cold. I didn’t think much of it but began turning her humidifier on at night and making sure she drank more. The next week I was sitting in the waiting room of our doctor’s office waiting to be called to the back. Twenty straight minutes of screaming later, I was headed for the pharmacy with a diagnosis of ear infection and a prescription for some antibiotics.

Ten days later I was grocery shopping when my mother in law called me. She told me that she looked inside Dakota’s mouth and she thought Dakota might have thrush. If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a fungal infection in the mouth. The next day was a Thursday so Alex took her back to the doctor while I was at school. Sure enough it was thrush, caused by her antibiotics oddly enough, and we were again sent to the pharmacy; this time for a banana-scented liquid to rub over her mouth four times a day. Awesome.

Within a week the infection was cleared up. Next came the diaper rash. This was the first time in the year of her life that she had gotten one. After an entire tube of Desitin did nothing to clear it up we made a quick call to the doctor which resulted in another trip to the pharmacy to collect yet another prescription. After two days with the prescribed cream, Dakota’s skin became so red and irritated that she would physically shake with pain during every diaper change.

You guessed it! Back to the doctor, who told us that Dakota was allergic to the cream he had given us. Cream number two finally started working after about a week and a half, just in time for her birthday. Thank God for small miracles. Except for a random fever two weekends ago, we seem to be in the clear. At least for a little while.

Finally, a day of freedom! Not only was it a day of freedom, it was a day of freedom with plans. Yes! Actual plans. Thanks to the South Beloit Booster Club we had two first class tickets for a greyhound bus to Dubuque and $100 put away for the slot machines. Dakota had plans for a sleepover with Grandma and Grandpa and Mommy and Daddy were on their way to a day out among the adults of the world.

At 10am with drink in hand I watched eagerly as the high school was left behind and the bus pulled out onto the road. Two hours and a couple drinks later we pulled up under the flashing lights of the casino. We disembarked, only stumbling a little, and entered our playground for the next four hours.

Lunch was first. The buffet seemed endless considering my usual lunch choices of turkey sandwich or salad. Oh the possibilities! The best part? Actually being able to use both hands the entire meal, and not having to stop after every bite to cut up more hot dogs or pick up a sippy cup off of the floor. The slots were calling our names so we quickly finished and headed out to win some money.

With a crisp twenty dollar bill in my hand (hello Mr. Jackson!) I prowled the floor, trying to feel out which machines looked lucky. In the corner I saw it. The flashing sign advertising something to the effect of America with sparkling stars and stripes. Patriotism never lets you down right? My twenty slid out of sight into the machine and soon the wheels were spinning away my cash.

Four hours and sixty dollars later I had come to terms with a simple fact: I am not a lucky person. Fortunately for our bank account, Alex is. As I stood in line at the cashier with my ticket for $19.01, another ticket was shoved into my face. It was Alex, proudly showing off the $250 he had just won off of our last 75 cents. Thanks to him we were able to leave the casino with more than we had come; making this trip the luckiest we had been on in a while. Not to mention the only one we had been on in a while.

The day of Dakota’s birthday party dawned gray and snowy. I couldn’t believe that the grass was again covered in white when just days before we had been wearing t-shirts and sandals, but that’s March in the Midwest I guess. I was determined not to let the weather affect my mood. Later, when Dakota was napping, Alex and I put up decorations, and finished our last minute cleaning. I fed Dakota lunch and put on her party dress. Then, we waited for guests to arrive.

eating cake

In no time at all, our house was bursting at the seams with family, friends, and brightly wrapped gifts. The cake was cut and served, and Dakota was soon covered from head to toe with frosting, literally, which required a quick costume change. Dakota tore into gifts which included lots of new clothes, a few toys, including a miniature ball pit from my sister-in-law, complete with 100 colorful balls which were immediately dumped all over the floor and a tent from my mother-in-law complete with its own tunnel to crawl through that was almost the size of our living room.

tunnel!

Because our house is small there was hardly any room to walk, and the buzz of conversation was more akin to the noise in a sports stadium. No voice could be heard at a volume less than a shout, and my ears continued to ring from the noise long after the party was over. But I didn’t mind too much, it seemed as if everyone was having a good time, including the birthday girl, who spent the day playing with her cousins and crawling over any people or legs who got in her way.

opening gifts

Before we knew it, the house was empty and the party was over, having lasted much less time that our anticipation over the event. The living room was filled with an avalanche of opened presents and remnants of wrapping paper and half-eaten pieces of cake. The party: a complete success.

post party playtime

Cake-induced sugar highs lasted well into the next day, although Dakota slept well that night, the product of not getting an afternoon nap. We spent the next day excavating the living room, helping Dakota play with all her new toys, and trying to figure out what to do with all the left-over birthday cake. My house, which had been spotless the previous day, now looked as though a cyclone had torn through it. Next year we are paying to have the party somewhere else!

From the moment you first look into your baby’s eyes you start dreaming of all the events that will take place in their life. You imagine their first words, their first steps, the first time they sleep through the night, and, of course, their first birthday. As the big day approaches you start planning. You need a time and a place, a theme and decorations, and invitations and a birthday cake.

A few weeks ago, Alex and I found ourselves wandering the aisles of factory card outlet, trying to pick from the multitude of party supplies the items that would make Dakota’s first birthday party the celebration we had always dreamed of. Who knew how many choices there were? Did we want a theme surrounding a specific show or cartoon, or what about decorations that just said 1^st birthday? Did we want streamers, or banners? Napkins or plates? Birthday hat or headband? What colors did we want; pink because she is a girl, or just bright, happy colors? And once we had chosen a specific show to use as our theme, which character did we want to adorn the decorations?

Minnie Mouse Napkins

After what seemed like an eternity of mulling over the endless options, we finally decided that we would have Minnie Mouse as the theme of our party. Though she is only one, Dakota loves to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the TV. She will actually crawl from where she is in the house to the living room when she hears the opening music. We picked out Minnie Mouse napkins and invitations, and then traveled to the first birthday aisle to see what else we had to have. Before hitting the checkout, Dakota also helped us to chose a happy 1^st birthday banner and a 1^st birthday princess headband. At this point I was really getting into the decorating spirit and Alex had to drag me away from the wall before I could add the highchair decorating kit, the shiny number ones that hang down from the ceiling, and whatever else I had my eye on at that moment to our cart.

birthday cake

Luckily, we managed to leave the store without damaging our bank account too severely, and without me adding anything else to the cart. However, that was difficult considering the array of shiny balloons displayed behind the checkout counter, including one in the shape of Minnie Mouse’s head. As walked back to our car to go order the Minnie Mouse cake I had seen at the grocery store, I made Alex promise me that he would get her a balloon on the day of the party.

Moms spend most of their first year waiting. First you wait for y our baby to arrive. You spend nine months attending doctor’s appointments, watching what you eat, and preparing to welcome a brand new life. But once your arms are full of that bundle of joy the waiting does not stop. Oh no. Then your patience is tried by waiting for the reappearance of uninterrupted sleep, your husband to bring more formula home from the grocery store, and visitors who never quite show up when they say they will.

And let’s not forget those milestones. Every day you watch your child like a hawk, hoping for the turn of a head or perhaps some glimmer of a smile. As soon as one is reached you instantly start looking for the next. When six months rolls around you prop them against anything that seems remotely safe, praying that by some miracle their stomach muscles will finally be able to keep them in that sitting position, only to be disappointed second later when they tip over and the screaming begins. At seven months you encourage crawling, only to realize that now your work is doubled as you chase your child around the house.

Talking is next, and let’s be honest: There is no way on earth that at eight months your child can say mama, dada, baba, hello, and peek-a-boo. But your friends and family will love you enough to smile and agree when you translate the garbled mess of nonsense emanating from your daughter’s mouth.

Walking. The milestone that helps your child pass from baby to toddler. Unfortunately for some of us, the waiting is more painful than others. Dakota learned to pull her self to stand at seven months. She hit the majority of her milestones early. But walking, that seems to be the one that refuses to be reached.

Over the last five months she had honed her skills at making journeys the complete circumference of the coffee table; she has even learned to move between the coffee table and the living room couch. However, she has yet to be able to reach the elusive stage of letting go of the furniture and perhaps traveling from the coffee table to the side table, no matter how Alex and I may coax her.

As her first birthday draws near, I am slowly letting go of those daydreams in which she amuses her birthday party guests by walking around the house following me. Every night we raise our hopes again of seeing her take her tentative first steps, only to feel them sink as we put her to bed without witnessing the blessed event. Everyone keeps telling me that I should just wait it out, I should enjoy the time I have left before I have to be chasing her around. But I can’t wait.

Raising a child can be the most amazing experience. It can also exhaust you, frustrate you, and tire you out. Sometimes what is even more tiring is navigating these uncharted waters with a partner, especially if you are both stubborn. They say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult, because you both learn so many things about your spouse. What they don’t tell you is that when the first year of marriage parallels the first year of parenthood, some fights turn into epic battles.

Dakota trying to feed herself

I came home from school the other day to find Dakota in the high chair eating one of her new favorite snacks… strawberries. I set down my book bag and slid into the chair in front of her to talk to her while she finished. While I was asking her about her day, I noticed that some of the pieces she was attempting to navigate to her mouth were a little on the big side for her small repertoire of dining experience. I mentioned this to my husband who  dismissed this idea as me worrying too much.

Not to be brushed aside so easily, I immediately launched into a tirade of other offenses my husband has recently committed in order to try to prove a point. Meanwhile, Dakota had finished her snack without mishap and was watching our fight with wide eyes. Of course, now our fight was about how I wasn’t being taken seriously, not about the baby and how big we should be cutting her snacks.

By the end of the night, Alex and I were both annoyed and still at odds with one another, even though neither of us could seem to remember why we had started fighting in the first place.  Amazing how one small disagreement can turn into an all out war about other issues in our relationship.

Finding balance in my life between being a parent and being a young adult has been difficult. Because we are both young and are the first of our friends to get married and have kids, most of our friends don’t understand that we can’t go out and drink and party without planning ahead. Sometimes this makes it hard for Alex and I to find time to do things together.  Not only is it difficult to find time to go out, it is difficult to find people to go out with that don’t mind being home and in bed by 10pm.

The day Dakota was born our needs immediately took a backseat. I also went from age 21 to age 60 that day. These days my idea of a good time is going to bed early and watching the news when the baby takes a nap. Other people my age are partying and staying out late, but I would rather get a good night’s rest and be able to get up in the morning.

This past weekend was Valentine’s Day and Alex and I actually found ourselves with a babysitter for Saturday night (thank you Alex’s mom).  By the time that 7pm rolled around we put the baby to bed and were trying to decide what to do with ourselves. We decided that we would go the YMCA and workout since we hadn’t gotten around to it already that day. Instead we had been busy tiling the kitchen floor. We each changed into our workout clothes, packed other clothes for when we were done and got into the car.

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting in the pitch black parking lot laughing at ourselves and at the fact that the Y had already closed for the day. Plan B: romantic dinner. Wait, we already had dinner before we put the baby to bed. Plan C: diet-killing dessert at Applebees. At 8 we were finished eating and wondering what to do next.Half an hour later we were waling in our front door with a rented movie to watch with my mother in law.That night I was asleep before 1030. Maybe next year we should make plans with some friends… or maybe my parents, they don’t stay out late either.

Over the course of this blog I will be sharing my experiences of being a wife and a mother, as well as my attempts to enter what most people would call the “grown-up” world.

My name is Amanda and I am 22 and a senior at UW-Whitewater. Over the course of the last two years my life has changed drastically.  I have bought a house, welcomed my first child, and gotten married. But don’t let the long list of life-changing events fool you, I’m not grown up yet, not even close.

My Daughter Dakota is 10 months old and is my life. When I am not in class or doing homework all my time is spent taking care of her. Her latest adventures include waiting for teeth, attempting to walk, and exploring the vast world of food that does not come out of a jar. Basically, I spend most of my time on the verge of a heart attack trying to stop her from cracking her skull on the coffee table and praying that she won’t choke on her chunks of banana.

Alex has been my husband for 9 months, but the love of my life for almost 8 years. We met our freshman year of high school and have been together on

My favorite wedding pic

an off since then. We finally got it together our senior year and were engaged a year later after he got out of boot camp for the Marines. After two and a half years of preparation we finally tied the knot last may. We own a home on the east side of Rockford, IL.

The rest of my family includes my mother in law, who recently moved in with us while she is selling her house, a husky named Caesar and a fish named Cha-cha. As my life rapidly becomes a whirlwind of challenges I hope to give an inside look at what marriage and motherhood are really like.