We have a little apartment in a little town with a little life… and it’s a nice little life.

We have a little desk where we do a little work.

We have a little kitchen where we make a little meal.

We have oh-so-little arms in which we make a little love.

… and we’ve got a little life, but it’s bigger by the day when we share it in every way.

I’m dancing around this household of mine, wondering what it’ll be like when it’s shared. I’m cleaning for my housemate, old soulmate. I’m pondering all the years I’ve gone to bed alone. All the years I’ve left my dishes for when I wanted to do them. All the years I’ve turned the light on in the middle of the night due to fear.

All the years I’ve barred my fortress, only allowing in allies and removing all threats.

I’m traveling through future times in my mind. I’m wondering about moments that have never happened, yet. I’m opening shop.

And I trust you, Kyle. I trust that you can rule this kingdom alongside me. I trust in your leadership and guidance.

Just call me a Queen Elizabeth… that has finally fallen in love.

… and this is a close, musical rendition of what that really means. (The Beatles did a rendition, too.)

I don’t like you, but I love you
Seems that I’m always thinkin’ of you
You treat me badly, I love you madly
You’ve really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Baby, I don’t want you, but I need you
Don’t wanna kiss you, but I need to
You do me wrong now, my love is strong now
You’ve really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hole me
Tighter, tighter

I wanna leave you, don’t wanna stay here
Don’t wanna spend another day here
I wanna split now, I can’t quit now
[ From : http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/smokey-robinson-lyrics/you-really-got-a-hold-on-me-lyrics.html ]
You’ve really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)

Baby, I love you and all I want you to do
Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hole me
(Please, squeeze)

You really got a hold on me
(You really got a hold on me)
I said you really got a hold on me
(I said you really got a hold on me)
You know, you really got a hold on me
(You know, you really got a hold on me)
You know, you really got a hold on me
(You know, you really got a hold on me)

I said you really got a hold on me
(I said you really got a hold on me)
You know, you really got a hold on me
(You know, you really got a hold on me)

 

2 Hours. 24 Degrees. 12 Signatures.

Tomorrow is the last night I’ll be living alone for what may be a long, long time.

An 18-year-old male baseball player thinks I’m intimidating. He told me so.

My mother is going to love her Christmas present.

I love my mother.

Kyle, I will always be there for you.

Our relationship is healthful and grows wiser and wiser.

Thank you, for all you give to me.

I get paid to read unique, original stories.

There are stories about time travel.

Stories about robots killing people.

Tales of misplaced time-crossed love.

Fables of mysterious engineers commanded to save the planet.

… and there are 30 more to boot.

I’m a lucky woman.

The people I work with give me Christmas presents.

The people I work with read with me and write with me.

The people I work with ask me pertinent, intelligent questions.

I’m a good helper, and I’m a good teacher, and I’m a good learner.

I’m a lucky woman.

In 10 days I’ll be coming home after this job to the one I love.

By god am I a lucky woman.

We’d been wandering the same streets for years, but they didn’t intersect until the right place and time.

My street wandering had led me to distant lands and wrong places. I grew in all the possible ways, for better and for worse.

His street wandering had led him to distant thoughts and internal spaces. He grew in all the possible ways, for better and for worse.

“So, this Kyle guy. I think he’s meant for you.”

“Ha. Why’s that?”

“Well, I took a car ride with him. He wants to be an English teacher. I thought, ‘Karen.’ He loves sustainability. I though, ‘Karen.’ He wants to start a group for secondhand clothes. I thought, ‘Karen.’ You two should meet.”

“I’ll give it a shot. When?”

“I’m having a party next Thursday. You should come and I’ll invite him.”

“Sounds good.”

***

“Hi! My name’s Karen.”

“Hi. I’m Kyle.”

He had the goofiest, excessively long hemp necklace on that I had ever seen.

“What’s your favorite book.”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, come on… what’s one of your favorite books?”

On the Road,” it couldn’t have been a more perfect answer.

“Really? I just finished a paper comparing The Dharma Bums with Walden.”

***

“Hey. Since I’ve started a group before, I figured maybe you could use some help in starting yours.”

***

He played banjo and spoke of Southern Comfort.

***

“Where are you headed?”

“The record sale.”

“Cool.”

(One of the only habits he has kept throughout the past year.)

***

“That’s not a real hug.”

***

“What if we just stopped using the word is? Like, ‘It may be snowing outside.'”

***

We walked through a blizzard. I wore a secondhand snowsuit he had gifted me.

We swang on swings.

He drew a heart in the snow with my name in it. I drew his name.

We had a snowball fight.

He fell on his ass.

He thought about staying at my place.

It was 5:00 AM.

He drove home.

I missed him… and I knew.

He stayed soon after.

***

“Karen, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“I’m falling, too.”

***

And now, one year since, I look back over a year that I just don’t know how I would’ve lived if it weren’t for him.

There have been long car rides, long talks, and long dances.

There have been pancakes, granola, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

There have been books, records, and drunken songs.

There have been smiles, tears, and sometimes both at once.

There have been camp fires, camping breakfasts, and camping stories.

There have been back rubs, foot rubs, and, well, other kinds of rubs.

There have been poems, stories, papers, and thoughts upon thoughts.

There have been truths, dares, and fears.

There has been mishap hitchhiking, mishap teaching, and mishap fainting.

There has been lovemaking, rage shaking, and lots and lots of missing.

There has been presence, presents, and make-believe futures.

There have been days, weeks, months, and years to be had.

And there has always been you and me.

And there always will be.

Because we make each other's lives AWESOME

 

 

He writes papers critically – almost as critically as he examines my tiring face as I drift off to sleep.

He reads diligently – almost as diligently as he caresses my soft skin.

He fights for what he believes in – almost as hard as he fights for a climax.

He crafts miraculous poetry – almost as craftily as he brings about a miracle in my heart.

you touch me when I’m cooking and washing the dishes.

you leave notes for me so I don’t get too lonely while you’re away.

you rub my shoulders when I’m sitting working.

you want to spend time with me when I think I’ve been less than amazing.

you give me what I need without me asking.

you love me… and I love you, too.

 

We said our goodbyes, and I had settled for settling into being alone again.

A man who leaves a concert because he favors the entertainment of his woman…

Well, he is a man to keep good audience with for a long, long time.

Let the show begin!

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