Erica’s World

As a single parent, you struggle with the best way to raise your child. Of course, it would be easier if you could make decisions about how to raise your child alone. Unfortunately, this is not reality. You may not be romantically involved with your Ex but you still have to make decisions about your child together. If only you could wiggle your nose and he would disappear, right? Instead, you will be forever connected because you are parents of a child you both love. Believe it or not, it is possible to raise a happy and well-adjusted child and still maintain your sanity. You don’t have to be enemies. Your separation doesn’t have to be traumatic for your son or you! Your child comes first and you both want him to have a normal (as normal as can be) childhood . Here’s a few tips to keep the sanity in your home and the focus on your child.

Make Your Kid Your Number One Priority

Parenting is about your child. Swallow your pride and focus on what’s really important: your daughter. Relationships come and go, but you are the only mother your daughter has. Be a mother first and try not to stress about what went wrong in your marriage. Being single is not easy. What your daughter really wants to know is that she is loved. She wants to know you are still there for her.

Keep Adult Business Between Adults

If you have a disagreement with your Ex, your child doesn’t need to know. Excuse yourself and talk outside or go to another room. Children are perceptive and they pick up on the tension between her parents. She doesn’t need to know the details of your current disagreement. Be civil with your Ex when you are in front of your children.

Communication Is Key

To keep the peace , keep the lines of communication open between you and your spouse. Don’t bottle your feelings. Be upfront. If you discuss your concerns, you are less likely to blow up in front of your child.

You Parent Your Way and I’ll Parent Mine

Keep your focus on how you parent and realize that your Ex is his own parent. I’m not saying you can’t discuss and come to an agreement about a consistent bedtime for your daughter. Keeping the same bedtime at dad’s and mom’s will reinforce a consistent routine for her. What I am saying is that you can’t control his every action and that’s okay. He loves your daughter too. His style of parenting is just different than yours.

Never Diss Your Ex in Front of Your Child

There is nothing worse than when a parent criticizes or puts down the Ex in front of her child. It’s important you keep those feelings to yourself or when you are having lunch with a trusted friend. To your child, that’s his blood. When you criticize his father, you are criticizing him.