Next Review

This movie was not a very fun one to watch, Nick cage’s ability to see 2 minutes into the future is used quite extensively. It even has some decent story points but halfway through the movie, they change it to where he can actually see what’s going on with the nuke. It’s pretty much only functions as a way for the story to continue, and aside from the first 10 minutes or so doesn’t really feel all that neat. The characters were all fairly decent, I didn’t have a problem with any of them for the most part, although Nick Cage is always a weird actor who, at least to me, seems he’s always miscast.

This movie also plays around with the whole, scenes in the movie don’t actually happen it was all in the hero’s head, which is one of the most dangerous things a movie can do in my eyes. In fact, pretty much the entire second half of the movie is one of these, The whole second half of the movie is just a vision that Nick Cage has. This instantly makes me really dislike this movie. Movies like “The Last King” or “Wyrmwood” at least have some irredeemable qualities, but this movie is not one of those. The story is boring, Nick Cage just make things awkward, and the good points are all just decent. Bottom line I don’t recommend this movie.

Awards

First Bad Movie I reviewed

Making half of the movie completely useless with one scene

Next Pre-view

This movie is on Netflix and will be watched there.

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Next is a movie with Nicolas cage so it’s bound to be at least an entertaining movie. Like everything I’ve watched I know practically nothing about this movie, but I have seen another nick cage science fiction movie namely “Knowing”. If that movie is anything like that it will at least be watchable. Nick cage is one of the celebrities that I don’t really like, but I never dislike. He just has this weird charm where I respect what he’s doing, but I don’t want him anywhere near me. I want to assume that he’s completely different from the roles that he plays, but I heard that he thinks that watching his pet octopus makes him a better actor. I mean I’m not an actor, so I have no idea if that actually does anything for him. All I’m just saying that that’s not the most normal thing for a person to do.

“Las Vegas magician Cris can see a few minutes into the future and an FBI agent wants his help thwarting a nuclear attack.” There are a few thing’s I want to point out: firstly spelling Chris without the “h” is actually physically painful for me to type, secondly I don’t think that the ability to see a couple of minutes into the future would be enough to stop a nuclear attack. A few minutes is not much time but I have a feeling this movie going to make it somehow a viable solution to disarming a nuclear weapon.

Haunter Review

(I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum)

What promised to be a fun friendship filled Pokemon adventure turned out to be a horror movie with not even a mention of a haunter. I was kind of expecting this, though hoping for it to not be the case. Anyways the movie itself was actually pretty decent all be it fast, although I don’t think that this is a completely negative point. The speed makes the movie makes it feel like the story is unfolding rapidly and it really makes the movie feel like this whole thing is the climax of a much larger story.

The movie starts out with the “rebellious teenage girl” archetype, she also plays a clarinet which you never really see in movies, being trapped in the movie groundhog’s day. She lives the same day with her family who are conveniently oblivious to this. She spends a while trying to figure out what’s going and through the use of a Ouija Board, she actually manages to find out that she is in fact dead and is being tormented by a much more powerful ghost who had a hand in her death. This all happens in the first part of the movie and happens fairly rapidly. The rest of the movie his her trying to convince her family that they too are dead, saving a girl from falling into the same fate, and freeing her family from the evil dead guy.

This is a pretty decent movie, if you like fast paced movies this one is a good movie for you.

Awards:

An actually decent horror movie

Got away with the name Haunter (Nintendo is pretty touchy when it comes to their intellectual property)

Haunter Pre-view

This Movie is available on Netflix and will be watched on it.

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I chose this movie simply because I thought that the name was a Pokemon name, and I was right. Now if I know Pokemon, and I think I know Pokemon, this movie will be about a girl trying to catch a haunter, possibly trying to evolve it. The thing is she doesn’t have anybody to trade with so she has to spend the majority of the movie trying to befriend some random person on the street or internet. This movie could be a really good entry into the Pokemon universe, although it is a tad weird that they chose to not title it with the traditional Pokemon title.

Another weird thing about this movie is that it’s a horror, good on Nintendo for trying to branch out into another genera. Hopefully, the Pokemon spirit will survive the transition, but who knows it could not work. This movie has an uphill battle, while Pokemon does have some pretty creepy stuff, it’s never on the surface.

I haven’t watched the trailer, I feel that it’s easier to make stuff up when you know as little as possible about a subject. Hopefully, this Pokemon movie will be a pretty good movie and not destroy my childhood. I’m holding out a lot of hope for this movie.

The Last King Review

This movie was not great, it certainly wasn’t bad, maybe even alright if you only take the second half into consideration, but it really just wasn’t that interesting to watch. It does alright at explaining the story and the motivations of each character, but it’s really just run of the mill standard motivations. The two guys end up taking care of the baby in order for Norway to maintain it’s independence, on top of that the main guy hunting down said baby does a good deal of murdering the protagonist’s family which only furthers the staleness. This movie is nothing special and the entire first half of it can be chalked up to political rabble, there is very little action, and the second half is pretty much all action which is pretty cool due to all the people with swords skiing at other people with swords.

This movie was made in Norway which is pretty interesting, but this version is dubbed to be English which only furthers the disconnect between what the movie is intended to be and what it actually is. I think that this movie would have been ten times better if they kept the language Norwegian and only had  English subtitles. It feels kind of like this.

The movie is just terribly average, you might like it, but if you’ve seen a movie that takes place in the middle ages and has a political problems you’ve seen this movie. Overall skip unless you really like this type of movie.

Awards :

Best Brutal Ski Battle

Participation Ribbion

The Last King Pre-view

This movie is on and will be watched on Netflix

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From the name you’d think that this movie is about The Last King of some sort of fantasy land. The summary seems to prove this, apparently the fictional kingdom of Norway is having  the civil war of the century and the king is dying. He decides to give his son to two random foot soldiers. I assume they were chosen because literally every single other person more qualified were the ones revolting.

This could be a really good movie full of two guys and a baby going on a wild misadventure filled with hi-jinks. Alternatively it could also be a really bad movie full of two guys trying to hide the baby from almost certain death. Either way I’m expecting a heart felt comedy about two guys and a baby trying to make it through some tough times.

The Trailer not only gives us a look at what I’ve already been expecting but also skiing. Skiing seems to be a pretty big part of the movie so maybe in the end the two foot soldiers decide to raise the baby themselves is some sort of domestic partnership and run a ski lodge named “The Royal Ski Lodge”. I think that would be a pretty good ending to a pretty good film.

Here’s hoping that this movie is as good as I hope it’s going to be.

 

The Hunter Review

This movie was a lot better than what I was expecting, it wasn’t a man vs nature conflict which was what I was expecting, but a man vs man conflict. The Hunter was done in a really unique way, as in the story was very slow and meticulous, so pretty much the exact opposite of Wyrmwood which played the fast and loose game. The Hunter makes an effort to naturally explain the plot and for the most part doesn’t really have any unexplained plot holes. The only one that I can think of is the boy showing the main character where he can find the Tiger by drawing the lakes like they would be shown on a map. I mean it’s possible, his dad was also trying to track them down, but it seems highly unlikely that he would know where to find the tigers. That specific example felt very artificial, but those instances are few and far between.

The Film didn’t feel like a action adventure movie, it was more or less all over the place. At times it felt like a fun family movie and at other times it felt like hunting thriller, but very rarely did it feel like an action movie, there were only ever a couple of scenes that any action in them. There for I feel like this movie was mislabeled, it functions more like a mystery film. The man is mysteriously followed and he is not only trying to hunt for a single specimen of a nearly extinct species, but find out who is messing with him. Overall this is a really neat film with a lot of good story telling.

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One of five scenes where he actually uses his rifle

Awards:

Best Australian Movie I’ve watched so far

Wisconsin Native Lead

The Hunter Pre-View

This movie is on and will be watched on Netflix

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The Hunter, a movie about a guy trying to kill the last Tasmanian tiger, the premise sounds alright, although a bit lack luster if the Tasmanian Tiger doesn’t turn out to be some sort of super apex predictor. That’s even if he can find it, Tasmania is a pretty big place, 26,000 square miles big. I mean, I might still watch it if it’s just 2 hours of him walking around aimlessly in the woods and then going home because he got frustrated with not being able to find it. I used to watch ghost hunters and that’s pretty much the same thing.

I picked this one at random and it turned out to be another Australian made movie, if it’s anything like Wyrmwood I’ll be presently surprised. But unlike Wyrmwood this movie doesn’t show any awards so it’s either very modest or it hasn’t won anything, let’s hope it’s the former. Next time I’ll try to stay away from the Australian made movies.

This movie stars Willem Dafoe, who is a pretty big name for a movie I haven’t heard about even if it is a foreign movie. Hopefully he makes a good blood thirsty killer and doesn’t die to an animal that we hunted to extension in 1936. Some of the other images that I saw showed him preparing a primitive trap, this can only mean one of two things, either he’s doing it out of desperation because he lost his gun, or he stopped using it because he decided that it would be too easy.

 

 

Wyrmwood Review

So for this review I’m going to put in the same amount of effort explaining things as they did.

This move was weird, there really isn’t any other way to put it, as in zombie powered car weird. The movie starts off halfway through the story and flashes back to the beginning of the story for the first half of the movie. On a side note I hate when writers do this, it makes it feel like the plot doesn’t move along and it’s just super unnecessary. The plot feels like it doesn’t go anywhere until it’s there, one second they don’t have a working car, and the next they’re in a car chase trying to out run the soldiers that have “A Man’s” sister. Who got super powers from getting injected with zombie blood and can now control zombies. There’s really no reason for this to happen, it just kind of happens.

The characters are all slightly bland, you never really learn anything about them aside from what happened to them when the Zombies first showed up. They also never expand on any of the characters, and in the end of movie a man and his sister send a horde of zombies to kill some soldiers who really never did anything wrong. In fact they never actually say what the supposed bad guys was even trying to accomplish so it’s extremely likely that these guys were actually the bad guys the whole time. That’s actually a decent twist if that’s what they were going for.

WYRMWOOD-SIBLINGS

Pictured: Probably (Defiantly) Bad Guys

Overall this movie was not bad as long as you take it at face value and not look to far into the technical stuff.

Awards:

Only use of a Zombie powered car I’ve ever seen

Either the Smartest or dumbest movie I’ve ever seen

Wyrmwood Pre-view

This film is on and will be watched on Netflix.

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From what I’m able to draw from the single sentence synopsis, this film takes place in Australia with “A man” trying to rescue his sister from a mad scientist who is turning people into zombies. The poster/ promotional image doesn’t look that bad, it shows a guy decked out in hockey and other sporting gear, and it looks pretty cool if I’m going to be honest. However I feel this is unrealistic because I assume hockey isn’t very popular in the wild outback of Australia. The film also received a fair amount of Australian film festival awards which is a positive sign.

I assume this is going to be a stereotypical zombie movie, along the lines of resident evil franchise. Wormwood is an angel form the book of revelations, which leads me to believe that there is going to be some biblical imagery. I feel like this movie is going to be a simple plot that will try to surprise the audience by throwing in one or two plot twists. The inclusion of zombies only furthers my belief that this movie is going to be a shallow movie with not much going for it. This is about all I can expect from what seems to be a B movie, but maybe I’m wrong after all every movie earns awards.

Over all I’m not expecting much from this movie, but there’s always the chance that I’ll be pleasantly surprised.