03.26.09

What End-Users Really Mean When They Call Tech Support

Posted in Information Systems/Technology at 1:00 pm by Paul Ambrose

An interesting perspective from Bill Detwiler of TechRepublic!

They say: “I haven’t touched anything.”
They mean: “I have just fiddled with some registry settings/DLLs/system settings, installed some unauthorized software, and now it won’t work at all.”

They say: “I really truly haven’t touched anything.”
They mean: “I’ve really done it this time.”

They say: “What would happen if…?”
They mean: “I’ve just done this and feel a bit silly. How would I fix it without anyone knowing?”

They say: “I’m a personal friend of the chairman.”
They mean: “He once swore at me for using his parking space.”

They say: “I’m running Windows 97.”
They mean: “I don’t know the difference between an operating system and an office package.”

They say: “Of course everything is plugged in! Do you think I’m stupid?”
They mean: “Something is not plugged in.”

They say: “I really can’t waste any more time on this, goodbye!”
They mean: “I just spotted what I did wrong, and I’m very embarrassed.”

They say: “My screen is blurred and I get headaches.”
They mean: “The guy across the corridor just got a new monitor and I want one too.”

They say: “Is there a problem with the network?”
They mean: “I forgot my password.”

They say: “It won’t let me in and I know I entered the password correctly.”
“I have caps lock on.”

They say: “I checked my caps lock and I still can’t log in.”
They mean: “I forgot my password, and the last time this happened I had my caps lock on.”

They say: “Has this problem been reported by anyone else?”
They mean: “Am I the only clueless pony on the block?”

You can access the full list from Bill’s video blog.

03.11.09

What Tech Supports Really Mean!

Posted in Information Systems/Technology at 4:36 pm by Paul Ambrose

Effective communication skills and a professional demeanor as just as critical as technical knowledge for tech support personnel, according to Bill Detwiler of TechRepublic. Never lie or speak to your users in a patronizing manner. They are your clients and they deserve the same respect as you would expect from someone serving you. Bill identifies what tech supports are really saying when they answer you in this ligthearted video. Here are some excerpts:

Tech say: It would be possible the best at this point to reinstall the software
They mean: I don’t know how to fix this, nor does anyone else here

Tech say: Umm, that’s a good one
They mean: I am wondering what in the world you are taking about

Tech say: I’ll check with my team later
They mean: I am sure they won’t know either, but I will confirm that possibility

Tech say: Yes, we passed the problem to our developers and they are working on a fix
They mean: Even the developers don’t have a clue, but they may be able to come up with a workaround if they ever get any time to work in the problem in the next decade.

Tech say: Let me check with a colleague
They mean: I’ll just press a mute button now because I can’t stop laughing

Tech say: What operating system you are on?
They mean: Do you even know what an operating system is?

Tech say: Are you getting a login error?
They mean: You have forgotten your password, haven’t you?

Tech say: I apologize unreservedly for my mistake
They mean: Oh no, I just broke the first help desk law!