1500 Miles

So here it is the last blog for the year and the summarization of what I have been trying to get through to you. I hope that everything I have shared with you has been helpful and has made your life and relationship more fruitful.

In order to keep your long distance relationship afloat and still worth pursuing I advised you to somehow incorporate these 6 things into your relationship:

1. Looking into the future: Planning and investing in things coming up for you both down the road is what is going to help you keep your mind off of the distance. It will also show that both you and your partner are in it for the long haul because you are establishing long term “goals” or things that you want to do together.

2. Get out and do things: Again, another way to get your mind off of things. It will help you gain back the self-confidence that you lost and bring life back into relationships that may have been dying out.

3. Patience and Encouragement: These two things will not only help the person far from you realize that you are coping with the distance, but that you have also accepted it. The stress levels will be brought down because you have shown that you know everything between the both of you will be ok.

4. Have a little R & R: Come on now – do I really have to reason out this for you?! Everybody needs a little of this every now and then. Not only is this good for your body, but also your mental state. Many of the stresses that you’re feeling will float away.

5. Using snail-mail: Sending an unexpected card or care package is like sending a bright smile their way. It shows that you care and that you’re thinking of them even when you can’t be near.

6. Using the phone: Great way to communicate and keep in touch! Text messaging and sending pictures are a great way to say a quick “Hi” and keep updated in their daily lives.

So now after using all of my “wise” suggestions I hope that they have really have truly worked for you and your partner. But, I also hope that you have kept yourself and your relationship with your partner in perspective. I think I conveyed this in one of my most recent blogs, “The Reality…”. I’m merely trying to say that, yes, you are in a long-distance relationship and it is hard and it’s only going to get harder. But, through your strength and my help the relationship will sustain and grow and grow. You and your partner will become a stronger pair and your love will intensify and bring about things that you never knew could occur.

So, in closing, I hope you keep on loving and keep on having a great relationship!

–Much love to you all!

“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
– Herman Hesse

Instead of looking back on what has already happened look to what the future holds and can bring for the both of you. Starting to look down the road ahead takes your mind off the pain and will remind you of what is really important, now, at this point in your relationship.

Start making plans for that next trip to see each other or make plans to meet somewhere for vacation. Not only does planning a big trip like that make you get excited for when you get to see him/her, but you will be planning so much for the trip that you will be so busy. So busy, that the time will just fly right by! Make a countdown calendar to make things more exciting!

Or keep the future simple – talk about what the next step might be for the both of you. Getting through a long distance relationship is a huge step in a relationship and will definitely transform you, your partner and the relationship into new and radically changed beings. Your relationship will take on a new life and make you realize unknowingly that you are in a different place. You both are ready to move onto that next step, so why not talk about it?! I’m sure you both have been thinking about it for awhile now and just haven’t been strong enough to say anything because you’re being shy or may feel embarrassed to bring it up. But, don’t!! Believe me, if anything you will feel better!

Figuring out what’s coming up next will give you an immediate rush of happiness because you’re looking forward and wishing that it could all happen now. So talk about it, plan it out and get it all in the works!

–Much love!

“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.”

After my last blog entry, which was hopefully an invigorating and uplifting one for you, I hope that you feel on top of the world and are hopeful in your future planned adventures.

In order to start off on the right foot, why don’t you start your day by sipping on a good cup of Joe with a good friend or family member. Oh yeah…remember those people?! I know how easily it is to forget those good friends that you would always share a good laugh with or those special people in your family that you can always count on (believe me – I’ve done it and its so easily to do).

Getting back to those days before you and your special someone got together can be hard because you were so used to always being with them, but it can be done. The relationships with family and friends may have become a bit weak because of all the lost memories and experiences, but it can be put back together.

Like I said before, go out and get a cup of coffee or hot tea with a friend and just talk. Talk about the things going on in their life, how your life is going and make plans to do it again or to do something else. It may be a bit akward getting back into your old ways with them, but let time do its work. If your friendship was that good with that person then you will be right back where you guys were before. Just get out and have fun with those you used to. If you haven’t been to those family dinner’s on Sunday’s in awhile, make a point to do so. Not only will you get out of the apartment but you’ll get a little TLC from the fam.

Just getting out and being around the old crowd will not only repair old relationships, but get you back to that “Social Butterfly” status you were once at. Yes you may feel a bit guilty because YOU are having fun without him or her, but don’t feel that way. You need to get on with your life and get over that he/she is gone. Just because you are alone now doesn’t mean that you have to succumb to the lonliness. Get out, have fun and be a social butterful like you always have been!

–Much love to you!

“If God is the DJ, then Life is the dance floor; Love is the rhythm, and You are the music.”

All this time I have been talking about what you and your partner can do to keep the relationship alive and suggesting things to keep the both of you happy in your situation. And I hope that all of those that I have talked about have been able to work for you.

However, I think it’s time to be real about this. Long distance relationships are hard and things will get in the way of the relationship. Time and distance are the true realities of what is really going on. No matter what you try and do to alleviate the pain and hardships, they won’t go away. They are both things that at some point in time we all have to deal with and take head on. I’m going to be honest with you (and I’m sure you already know this) but it is going to be hard - more than likely, the hardest thing about it all. There will probably be a lot of tears, but at the end of the day you are going to be fine! This will only make you stronger as a person and will probably make the relationship more withstanding. All of this is kind of like that old quote, “Don’t cry over spilled milk”. I know that maybe sounds kind of harsh but really this is kind of the same situation. It’s only a minor mishap in life and within “2 minutes” it will be all cleaned up and life will go on. That’s what you need to do – let the milk spill, but then pull yourself together. Time and distance are taxing things but they are the true actualities of long distance relationships. And no matter what, they are the things that we have to deal with and in contrary to what you may think now you are a strong person and will grow past it.

–Much love

“And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”

I hope that little pep talk in my last blog really helped not only you but also your special someone far away.

Patience and encouragement are what will help to keep you on the path to a healthy relationship and at the end of the day your love and happiness will prevail. Many tests of your relationship will come about throughout the time of separation. I’m sure you can already assume what I’m talking about. Whether it is another person trying to come between you and your significant other or one stupid night of drinking or even just the difficulty of being alone and not constantly surrounded by your other person. But no matter what love will prevail. If your relationship is strong enough with that other person you will be able to get through it. Because after all, look at what you guys have already overcome! You should be proud of yourselves just for being able to leave one another and become “independent” people again. Just morphing back into that “single” life again can take quite a getting used to.

Love will prevail! Love will prevail! That’s what you need to tell yourself every time that you feel there is a problem or if you feel like there’s something not quite right between the both of you. Communication is a big part of this! If you talk things out in a calm matter more things will get accomplished and in the end you will both be better for it. Working through things is what will probably make you love one another more and like I said before, will make your relationship a better one for it!

So remember, “Love will prevail! Love will prevail!”

–Much love to you all!

“Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don’t become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones.”

As a few months pass and your loved one is gone you start becoming really antsy and impatient. You so badly want to see him or her and you become kind of whiney, an annoying kind of whiney. The other person knows that you’re feeling the distance and its starting to really take its toll on you. You want to vent for your feelings to the other person, but whatever you do…DON’T! Not only will this cause more stress on the other person but it just makes everything harder on the both of you.

Ever heard the saying “patience is a virtue”? Well you need to definitely be practicing this. Whatever you need to do to keep your mind off of the distance, do it. Keeping yourself busy is key to this! Take up some kind of hobby or spend more time with your friends and family.

Encouragement for your loved one can also help keep things sane in your relationship. Giving the support that he or she needs can really help to keep stress out of the relationship. Even though you may think that they don’t need any encouragement because they left you and they’re pursuing their dreams is definitely not true. It is just as hard on them as it is on you. Encouragement in whatever they are doing, whether it is in their career or the reason why they moved away, will help not only them but you.

–Much love to you all

“I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you’re the one that I love, and I can’t let you go.”

So, I’ve been thinking that the last few blogs has all been about what you can do for the other person. And I think its time to do a little something for yourself right?! Everyone needs a little “R and R” in someway to unwind, clear the head of all the emotions that have been streaming through you since the absence and just try to relax.

When I think of having a bit of R and R there is definitely one thing that comes to mind right away, MASSAGE!! What better way to clear your head and relieve all the stress on your body. It’s a great way to escape from everything. Not only will you feel less tense, but it could also help you destress.

A journal or some sort of diary could be a great way to vent and clear your head too. Letting out your emotions and writing down all your thoughts is an easy and private way to relax. It’s like having that friend that you can tell anything to but you know they won’t tell anyone.

If money is an issue right now (which for a lot of us it is right now) here is a cheaper way to let off some steam – Take a walk, be outside, be one with nature. Taking a walk down by the lake or on a path through the woods can be very relaxing. The beauty of nature or the sound of the birds will help you relax. Seeing the simplicity of what nature has to offer can help to clear your mind.

Relaxation is the main focus right now! A little “R and R” is what you need

Much love—

There is no long distance about love; it always finds a way to bring hearts together, no matter how many miles are between them.

I hope you took my advice and used those phones to their full potential over the week. Like I said, they can be a big help! Definitely the number one way of staying connected.

Onto another stepping stone…snail mail! I know, I know this is like something out of “Pride and Prejudice” or even a little old school, but its kind of fun! Writing letters does take up a lot of time but it gives you something to look forward to every week. Start a conversation with him or her about things that you usually don’t talk about on a regular basis or may even feel a little uncomfortable about talking to them over the phone about. Don’t just ask the basic questions like, “How is everything going?” or “Do you really like it where you are?”, instead ask more thoughtful or meaningful questions. Something like (depending on how serious you and he/she are in your relationship), “Where do you see yourself or us in 10 years?” or other things of that matter. Or you may even get a little creative and write a poem or a song for them.

Another thing is to send a cute card every once in awhile. A “just saying Hi” or a simple “missing you” card can brighten up their day and remind them just how much you care and are thinking about them.

The last thing that you could do is send him/her something that you made especially for them. For example, put together a photo album of you as a couple or send their favorite candy to them. That way, with the photo album, they to have something to look at when they might be having one of those “bad” days.

If you do one or all of these things, that someone special will know just how much you care. They’ll see that you took the time out to put together something special and send them. You didn’t do it through the convenient text message or e-mail; you really sat down and thought about what you could do.

So be patient and try out the “perks” of snail mail!

Much love to you all –

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
-Plato

Okay so like I told everyone before, I have been through all of the stages of having your other half miles and miles away from you. I didn’t think that there was going to be any way that we could be together with us not being able to see each other, actually face to face. But, I was totally wrong!

I think the first thing that we did to stay keep everything lively, was to definitely make sure that we both had text messaging and picture phones! Those help sooo incredibly much — more than you really think. The casual “I love you” or “Just thinking about you” helped in those little moments when you’re under total distress and wondering if he or she is thinking about you. I think the text messages emotionally connected us more than actually hearing him say it on the phone. Another great thing about text messaging (if you have this feature) is that you can save them and read them later. I know I definitely did this! Whenever I’m really missing him I open up the saved “sweet and special” ones and re-read them to help me get through my “bad days”. Ya know, those days when you just want to spend the day with them or just be able to hold their hand. That little feature can definitely help you with that!

Everyone has definitely heard the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. This I have learned to be so true. I’m sure you can only imagine the many things that you can send from phone to phone. And in my opinion, take full advantage!!! My boyfriend and I would definitely agree to that. Just a little picture of you smiling can make his or her day go so much better. Try the picture phone….get a little creative!

Much love to you all –

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
— Henry Louis Mencken

Hi and welcome to 1500 miles! This blog is all about distance in relationships and how I can maybe try and help with the pain and getting used to having the other person in your life far away. Or even give you little ways to help keep you and that person connected across the miles.

To give you a little background on myself and my situation, I have gone through all of this just recently. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and he just graduated from college last year. Since he has been just a little guy, he has had a dream of living in a place where he can ski anytime that he wants. So, of course, after college he moved out to Salt Lake City, UT. Being able to pursue his life long dream has made him the happiest and I am extremely happy and excited for him. But, the big downfall is we are miles and miles away from each other. This is a bit dramatic way of describing the whole thing, but it was almost a “life changing” experience. Many changes have come because he has left, but I can honestly say that they all have been for the better.

So, like I said, I’ve been through it all it seems like. I’ve cried all the tears and have said, “Just one more hug” way too many times, so I know where each and everyone of you are coming from who has someone far away from. I’m going to let you know what has helped us get through some hard times and what other things that you could possibly do to stay in touch. I’m going to try and give you the “in’s-and-out” of keeping the relationship alive and the connection between you and him/her strong.

Much love to you all —